While Barack Obama and other leaders were putting into motion plans that could affect the healthcare of millions, and Kim Jong Il stepped a little closer to a crossing a line that could affect the security of billions, CNN, Fox News, BSNBC, HNN, BET, MTV, Lifetime, TLC, and The Golf Channel chose to run with a two-hour tribute to the recently deceased King of Pop. That's fine -- I'll admit that I was glued to the TV during the show, just like anyone else. Hey, it's what people are talking about this month. I can't blame the networks for sticking with the spectacle, even if it was a complete waste of time.
I had a few thoughts while watching the tribute, though. First of all, it seemed strange to me that MJ's family would mourn his death in an official way by staging what was essentially a star-studded rock concert. It was an odd contradiction -- celebrities singing pop songs while trying to keep the affair somber at the same time. The conflict between the performers' natural instinct to put on a good show, and the organizers' (assumed) intent of honoring MJ in a serious manner, made the program too awkward to serve a purpose on any logical level. I mean, do you want to have a HAPPY memorial where everyone has a good time and the house is rocked? OR, do you want to shed a few tears while humming along to some ballads? You can't do both. Personally, I would consider the former to be a better strategy. Why not send Michael off with a triumph of high energy showmanship? I'll bet that's what HE would have wanted. Have someone come out and blow off the roof with a rousing rendition of Bad; crank up the pyrotechnics; make the WALLS SHAKE, son!
The other thing that intrigued me about the memorial was the clamor of hangers-on who did all they could to out-eulogize each other. The oratory grew more exaggerated (and long-winded) with each appearance. It all culminated with Al Sharpton, who displayed his customary impressive flair for hyperbole. He actually tried to claim that Michael Jackson's efforts to bridge the racial gap in America paved the way for icons like Tiger Woods and Barack Obama to succeed.
"Who made it possible for Tiger Woods to become the greatest golfer in history? MICHAEL JACKSON!" Al shouts.
"WHO paved the way for Barack Obama to become the first African American president of the USA??? Michael Jackson!!"
--The crowd roars; Al's just getting warmed up.
"And WHO saved the world from the Nazi menace in World War II??? Michael Jackson!!!"
--People are waving their arms now. Tears streaming down their faces. Al screams louder.
"WHO delivered the Gettysburg Address, signaling a new commitment in America to free millions of oppressed peoples from the shackles of slavery???"
--Mourners are convulsing, speaking in tongues....
"WHO led a daring midnight raid across the Delaware one fateful Christmas to strike the British and bring about a turning point in the War for Independence???"
--They're passing out in the aisles now.
"WHO INVENTED THE AIRPLANE, THE COMPASS, AND THE CHIA PET??? IT WAS MICHAEL JACKSON!!! WHO DIED FOR YOUR SINS??? IT WAS MICHAEL! IT WAS MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!"
Thunderous applause. Al triumphantly exits the stage, confident he has preemptively bested any other speakers who might try to rouse the crowd for the rest of the show.
Among them, of course, are members of Michael's family. I'm sure we've all seen the heart-breaking speech from his daughter. That was, without a doubt, the most poignant and genuine moment of the entire program. Before I saw his daughter break down and call him a great father, I had never been especially saddened by Michael Jackson's death. However, I felt sorry for her, and stopped chuckling at the memorial extravaganza the second her first sob came out. The poor girl. Not only is her life (which was probably setting her up for a variety of future emotional issues to begin with) completely shattered, but the new life she'll be moving on to will almost certainly be a very troubled one, as well. Who's going to raise her? Michael's parents? Uh, it's no secret that their previous child raising endeavors have produced mixed results at best. Michael's ex-wife? She's probably never even met her kids.
Not to mention, the vultures swarming the remains of Michael's estate are almost certain to make sure there's nothing left by the time that little girl is old enough to take any inheritance. She's screwed on multiple levels. So are her siblings.
Anyway, I suppose the whole affair at least served to provide pop culture with some kind of closure, even if it was weird. Given that this all concerns Michael Jackson, of course, it's probably appropriate that the final send-off event was equal parts interesting, overblown, and creepy. Fitting, really. Michael Jackson was like a seven-car pile-up -- you watch in both horror and fascination, wishing you could stop. For better or for worse, it's over now.
Hey, speaking of porcelain-white figures of death, here's a vampire movie (sort of).
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0189998/
Netflix description:
"A wicked movie about the making of the 1922 silent-film classic Nosferatu, Shadow of the Vampire features Willem Dafoe's Oscar-nominated performance. Director F.W. Murnau (John Malkovich) yearns to create the most terrifying vampire tale imaginable. Unknown actor Max Schreck (Dafoe), cast as the vampire Count Orlock, makes an impressive debut as filming begins, even as he hides an unearthly secret."
OK, so many of us have seen the iconic silent film, Nosfaratu. Well, apparently there was once a rumor that the guy who played the title vampire in that movie, Max Schreck, really WAS a vampire, because he was so convincing in the role. Well, Shadow of the Vampire is based off of that concept. Visionary director F.W. Murnau takes his cast and crew to a spooky castle someplace in Czechoslovakia to shoot his little undead opus, and bizarre things start to happen. The actor who's supposed to play the vampire scares everyone, as he's constantly in character, lurking about the castle at all hours of the night, sucking the blood out of rodents and bats, and reciting morbid poetry. Kinda strange. Makes one wonder about him. Could it be that he is really IS among the ranks of the undead? OR, is he just an exceptionally dedicated method actor?
Here, we have a film that starts off as a remarkably interesting depiction of Nosfaratu's production, but eventually turns into a barely passable monster mystery. I found Shadow of the Vampire to be highly engaging for the first two acts, as we examine the world of silent filmmaking, and get a glimpse of some of the early auteurs who turned the medium into the art form it is today. However, once the "Is-He-Or-Isn't-He?" dynamic is kicked into full gear regarding Herr Schreck, the picture loses much of its magic. I would have enjoyed this film much more if it had been a more straightforward retelling of how Nosfaratu was made. That would have been a compelling enough topic to fill 90 minutes on its own.
Luckily, inspired performances from virtually everyone in the cast manage to sustain Shadow of the Vampire through its weaker scenes. John Malkovich is in top form; we've got a charming turn from Eddie Izzard; and Cary Elwes hasn't been this dashing since The Princess Bride. Also, I'm not sure whether William Defoe's depiction of Max Schreck is brilliant, or ridiculous, but either way, I loved it. As a possible creature of the night gone Hollywood, he makes the movie worth watching. Shadow of the Vampire may fall somewhat short of living up to its early signs of promise, but there's still enough here to make it a solid experience.
3 out of 5.
b.
yer gay!
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