Bright Lights, Big City

OK, so there's a tiny town in Michigan's Upper Peninsula called "Gay"....
Yeah -- Gay is the name of this town. I first learned of it a few years back when I was living in another tiny town, Bad Axe. I was at work one night, staring at a map of Michigan with a friend, and he pointed it out:

"GAY!" he exclaimed.
"Awesome," I replied.

Indeed. How could anyone with the emotional IQ of a twelve year-old (such as myself) NOT be enthralled with the idea of a town called Gay? I immediately did some research.

It seems that Gay, located WAAAAAAY up there in Keewenaw County, was founded by a mining company owner, Joseph E. Gay, and his friend, (not joking here) Ernest Koch. At one time, there was a mill of some kind in the vicinity, but it closed down in the 1920s. According to Wikipedia, "today, only the large smokestack and the ruins from the stamp mill still remain", and the whole town has a population of around 60. Although its glory days have been over for some decades, Gay still managed to attract a decent number of Yoopers each year until somewhat recently for its famous Fourth of July celebration. Apparently, on that holiday, the locals would load up the old mill smokestack with "tires and diesel fuel, (producing) thick black smoke that could be seen for miles out in Lake Superior"...but in 1998, "this activity was halted due to pollution concerns." Stupid hippies. Always ruining everyone's fun....


The best thing about Gay is its only remaining business -- a bar. Can you guess what the NAME of that bar is??? That's right: The Gay Bar! Apparently, it's something of a tourist attraction in the area, as bikers and RV types like to stop there for various reasons. The menu includes three kinds of weiners, and Spam sandwiches among other things (as a lover of Spam, this sounds like my kind of place). According to legend, the Gay Bar started as the home of the mill superintendent, but turned into a bar shortly after prohibition ended. In the 70s, it was bought by a man named Norm Dicks (yep), and eventually fell into the hands of its current owners, who have really turned the place into something special. You can even buy souvenirs of The Gay Bar like pink beverage holders and ladies' underpants, suggesting that its owners have a sense of humor about the whole thing. That's what I love about small town folk -- they may have a reputation for being conservative, but in reality, I've found they can often be charmingly goofy.



Now, there are several reasons why I find Gay, Michigan to be fascinating. First of all, I'm an idiot, and I derive endless amusement from anything that has an even slightly-quirky name. Secondly, I've always been intrigued by the Upper Peninsula, in general. I haven't been there, but it strikes me as a place of mystery and wonderment. I love remote locations and empty roads; I ENJOY getting lost; I want to EXPLORE something!

Oh, and third -- I just like to visit super small towns (and I mean much smaller than Saint Joe or Benton Harbor). They're weird and interesting to me. I wanna learn their histories and mingle with the locals. Heck, maybe I could do that on my upcoming honeymoon! Take a drive up to the UP...stop in Gay...have a beer and Spam sandwich at The Gay Bar. Who knows? Maybe they'd like me there, and offer me a job. I could pack up the future Mrs. Green and start a new life in the UP. The possibilities are limitless in a town like Gay.


Anyway, here's a film about a small town that's far less welcoming than Gay. It's called Population 436. Enjoy (well, not really).

Population 436 (2006)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462482/



Netflix description:
"For a century, Rockwell Falls has had the same number of residents: 436. A census taker (Jeremy Sisto) is sent there to figure out how the town managed to accomplish such a dubious feat in this disturbing drama. Once he arrives, he quickly senses all's not well and is subsequently stripped of his freedom. If he doesn't fall in line with the village's oppressive rules, he may end up lost forever. David Ames and Fred Durst co-star. "

Population 436 is your standard "Guy uncovers horrible secrets in a quaint small town" movie. In this case, it's a census taker who wants to know why the remote community of Rockwell falls has maintained the exact same population for, like, 150 years. As you can imagine, it's not just a coincidence.

Now, even though there really isn't anything SPECIAL about Population 436, I found it to be a reasonably entertaining film. Pretty much from the get-go, it's clear that the locals are killing off residents to maintain the 436 figure, but exactly WHY is a mystery that keeps us engaged through the end. Of course, the ANSWER to the Why question is a bit of a let-down (couldn't they have come up with some crazy Satanist number-worshiping sort of story or something?), but that still doesn't ruin the experience.

Other creepy small town movies are usually crippled by low production values, but Population 436 actually comes across as fairly well-made. The location is rather attractive, and the acting is above-average for this kind of movie. Its claim to fame seems to be that one of the supporting players is Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst, but I assure you, he's no distraction, and surprisingly gives a good performance as a well-meaning local cop to may or may not try to help our hero.

Is Population 436 scary? Well, no...but the atmosphere is creepy, and there is some disturbing imagery (like in the mental home scenes). You won't be blown away, but you won't fall asleep, either. I give it three Mehs out of Meh.

3 out of 5.


b.