It Creeps And Leaps And Glides And Slides

Can you believe that I never saw The Blob until this week?
Yeah, I guess it was one of those horror classics that the old Drewmeister never had a chance to watch. Sure, I'd seen the 80s remake, but that doesn't count. The REAL Blob was a motion picture about which I knew little.


Well, that's all changed thanks to my pal, James Rolfe, The Angry Video Game Nerd himself. See, he recently produced a documentary about not only the The Blob, but also its legacy in the town where it was shot.

Yeah, The Blob was filmed in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, a community that currently has about 14,000 people. Can you imagine if you lived in a town that small, and one of the most popular horror flicks of all-time had been made there? People would never shut up about it!

Indeed, that's what James learns when he travels to Phoenixville for its annual Blob celebration. The whole tale is funny and interesting, as folks reenact famous scenes from the picture and hock campy merchandise to tourists. James tracks down various locations used in the 1958 film, and even interviews a fellow who HAS the ACTUAL BLOB (fun fact -- he keeps it in a plastic bucket). Seeing how much one little movie from the late 50s could mean to a community is sort of charming, and I enjoyed the experience.

So if you're interested in The Blob at all, I recommend checking out Rolfe's 24 minute opus, Blob Town:


It got me all excited to see the real motion picture...but would it match my expectations???

Let's find out....

The Blob (1958)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051418/


Netflix description:
For pure camp value, this sci-fi flick about an insatiable, gelatinous mass of alien goo ranks high in the annals of drive-in movie fare. Steve McQueen and his teenybopper friends try to warn townsfolk about the terror in their midst. But it takes a lot of convincing, even after the Blob has gorged itself on some local denizens. By the time the authorities realize what's going on, it might be too late to stop it.

Well, here we are -- The Blob. It's about a bunch of small town teenagers who must save their community from a mysterious alien life form on a murderous rampage.

See, the title monster comes to Earth in a meteor that crashes out in the woods. Our hero, Steve Andrews (Steve McQueen) and his girlyfriend Jane (Aneta Corsaut), are making out in a parked car when they hear the space rock's landing. They head over to the scene to investigate the situation, but find nothing. As it turns out, that's because a backwoods yokel has already gone and gotten the Blob stuck to his hand by trying to pick the gull dang thing up with a stick. Steve and Jane end up running into him on some country road not far away, though, and make the mistake of giving the dude a lift back into town.

As the local doctor learns upon inspecting the Blob's first victim, this gelatinous visitor from space is not one to be trifled with. You so much as touch the Blob, and it will friggin' DISSOLVE you, man! Bullets and acid won't harm the critter, either. It just rolls slowly across the floor in search of its next victim. We're not even sure if the thing is sentient; all it ever does is move around, kill things, and get bigger.

Our hero, Steve, knows the truth, but the authorities won't believe him (like always). He and Jane report at least one murder to the police, but the cops are all like, "Whatevs! Let's just sleep on this, and figure it all out in the morning."

So, it's up to Steve and his pals to warn the townsfolk of this pink, semi-solid menace from space. CAN they convince the public that the Blob is real? WHAT does this creature want?? DID the filmmakers really think that Steve McQueen would make a convincing teenager???


And did I enjoy the movie? In short, ymmmmeh.

See, The Blob wasn't the fun campfest I had necessarily been expecting. I mean, don't get me wrong -- the picture isn't BAD by any stretch. In fact, I was surprised by the quality of parts of it. For example, I liked Steve's comedic scenes dealing with the local cops. It's just nice to think back to a time when young chaps such as Steve could live carefree and make mistakes in small town America without being hauled off to juvenile hall every time they did something stupid. In The Blob, our bumbling cops are actually depicted as friends early on (well, except one of them). On the surface, Steve's interactions with them might seem irrelevant, but I thought they actually established the setting quite effectively. Plus, I liked his parents.

(Don't forget to watch the classic theme song!)

There's also the Blob itself, which I thought was a cool concept. We don't need to know its motives or origins -- this sucker is just death incarnate. It kills and kills and kills with no explanation, and not even our heroes ever really learn what the thing's true nature is. I like that in a horror film sometimes. Makes the monster scarier if it's all a giant mystery.

Personally, I picture the Blob coming from a planet full of other blobs who just...you know...blob it up all day. Hey, for all WE know, he could be the VICTIM. Who's to say the Blob wanted to come to Earth in the first place? What if he accidentally got stuck on that meteor??? Not his fault he wound up here!

Besides, maybe on the Blob's home planet, it's considered polite to absorb others upon meeting them. How would HE know not to do that on Earth??? He's just trying to make friends, and there we go, assuming he's an evil invader bend on destroying us or something.

This whole story is just a big misunderstanding!

(OK, fine. I admit it -- I just wanted an excuse to post this picture. But Jabba there does look vaguely Blob-like...right?)

But, you see, that's precisely the PROBLEM -- we rarely get to actually SEE THE FRIGGIN' BLOB. I mean, he hardly even makes an appearance in this film, while the rest of it is just filler with teenagers engaged in drag races, etc. I WANTED MORE BLOB!!!

If only there had been a few other kill scenes or something, this film would have been much more effective. Bits in which the Blob does strike are well-handled and even a little scary. Why not include more of them?

The Blob does culminate nicely with a showdown in the basement of a diner between Steve and the monster, and I liked how the whole deal ended. Still, I felt as though this motion picture could have been more exciting. It really had something interesting going on there for a while, but wastes too much time on subplots of secondary importance.

Nevertheless, the overall experience is one worth having. I mean, you can't go wrong with a classic, right? If you've never seen The Blob, I recommend giving it a rental. Don't expect too much, and you may just have a good time.

3 out of 5.

b.