Back To My Roots

Well, I thought I'd use my first post of 2011 to profile one of my favorite film reviewers....
I'm talking about The Nostalgia Critic.


The Nostalgia Critic can be found over at ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com, which is like a hub site for several media-related video comedians. In fact, the site has so many personalities that I am unable to keep up with them.

So let's just focus on the Critic for now. Here's what he does: he picks films of the 80s and 90s that many of us may remember from our childhoods, and does long (and I mean LONG) videos about them. The Critic has covered a variety of pictures that I secretly hold dear in my heart, ranging from the Super Mario Brothers movie, to all those crappy Hulk Hogan vehicles than came out between '88 and 94 or so. Since many of these films (let's face it) just plain sucked, I actually find it easier and more pleasant to watch the Nostalgia Critic's profiles than to watch the productions themselves over again. He indulges my...you know...sense of nostalgia.

In other words, he remembers it so I don't have to.


And, boy, is the Critic thorough. As indicated above, the Nostalgia Critic pretty much says everything that needs to be said about his targets. The videos are usually 20 to 25 minutes long, taking us through each selection chronologically, so seeing one is almost like seeing the real movie. The Critic also includes tons of B-roll taken right from each film, and explains plot issues with which some of us may have been struggling all these years. I'm telling you -- the man has all bases covered.

But the information he provides isn't the most important thing. No, the real reason why I enjoy the work of the Nostalgia Critic so much is simply how friggin' FUNNY his videos are. The dude's got wit, imagination, and timing -- all qualities I expect from my internet comedians. You'll never even notice that you're wasting 23 and a half minutes of your life listening to someone else talk about Earnest Saves Christmas because the Critic keeps the whole affair so amusing. He's like the cinematic equivalent of the Angry Video Game Nerd. This stuff is just as much about entertainment as it is about criticism.

(OK, so maybe the gun creeps me out a little.)

The Nostalgia Critic is as well-versed (awe heck, more so) in obscure pop culture than yours truly, and frankly, I'm a little jealous. I mean, I don't know where he gets the time to do all of this stuff. Just check out his site -- it's massive. I can't believe that this fella, who is three years YOUNGER than me, has managed to accomplish so many important things while I'm still barely capable of posting two lousy text blogs per week. I think we can all learn something from the Critic's drive and determination.

And he's got lots of friends, too! As mentioned, That Guy With The Glasses features review videos from tons of Nostalgia Critic partners (I frankly have no idea how he manages to pay for all the bandwidth that must require). Among the more famouser TGWTG reviewers are Angry Joe, who does video games, and the Nostalgia Chick, who was recruited by the Critic to cover stupid girly things that are too boring for us chaps to watch ourselves. They're all pretty cool, so if you head over to TGWTG, check out some of their stuff, as well....

(Doomed to review My Little Pony and She-Ra videos forever.)

By the way, all of this leads me to another issue. Has anyone else in the 26 to 35 age bracket noticed that almost all of the nostalgia stuff to be found on the internet is geared towards things that WE remember from better eras gone by? I mean, seriously -- The Nostalgia Critic...Retrocrush...Robot Chicken...millions of YouTube videos...Angry Video Game Nerd...everything I see everywhere....It's all just 80s and 90s nostalgia. Am I alone in catching this???

No one on the web cares about the 60s, 70s, or even the stupid 2000s, man. MY GENERATION is apparently the only one that remembers anything from its past and bothers to preserve it digitally. From old toy commercials to candy advertisements to cartoon shows to bad movies, the children of the 80s and 90s have put all of it online. And I'm glad. We rule the internet; it is our playground.


Anyway, I advise everyone with a sense of humor to check out The Nostalgia Critic. If you need one of his videos to start out with, here's my favorite: the Critic's review of Battlefield Earth. Enjoy!


And now to kick off a new year of film reviews here at this blog is (you guessed it!) a zombie movie.

Zombies, Zombies, Zombies (2008)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0906788/


Netflix description:
When an unorthodox drug experiment conducted by a mad scientist transforms the residents of a small town into flesh-eating zombies, a motley crew of exotic dancers, pimps, and johns are forced to take refuge inside a seedy strip club. Helmed by first-time filmmaker Jason Murphy, this is a zany, tongue-in-cheek horror-thriller.

Yeah, this here zombie flick is another one about a bunch of strippers who do battle with an army of the undead in a small town.

See, some mad scientist unleashes a virus that causes the whole thing. Other than that, I really don't have much plot information to provide. The rest of Zombies, Zombies, Zombies is just straight up undead blasting, stripper devouring, action.

Not that this is a bad thing, mind you. I mean, what's wrong with a simple gorefest? Nothing at all, my friends, nothing at all. I actually found this film to be somewhat refreshing in its simplicity. It makes us laugh; it makes us hurl; and then it bolts out the door.

Now, keep in mind that there are really two main reasons to watch Zombies, Zombies, Zombies: jokes, and babes. Yeah, this one is really more of a comedy, made fairly appealing by the fact that it stars a bunch of FHM and Maxim-type models. They do lots of zombie fightin', dressed in as little...uh...clothes as possible. There's also a stereotypical pimp-type character, and a bumbling cop with absolutely no ability to take care of himself, or anyone else for that matter.

But why in the world did I enjoy this movie? After all, it's absolutely terrible on the surface, hot chicks or not. From shot one, it's painfully obvious that Zombies, Zombies, Zombies is about as low budget as a motion picture can get without being shot on a cell phone cam. It looks awful, and plays like a made-for the Sy-Fi Channel TV series. Not to mention, the acting and special effects are well below bottom-of-the-barrel level. In all honesty, something this low-rent barely deserves to be reviewed by anyone.

I guess I just couldn't help but smile at the sheer joy this film seems to emanate. You can tell that everyone involved in its production was just there to have a good time, and that makes the whole affair somehow charming. The ladies all appear to have a decent sense of humor, and the fellas clearly understand that their role is to step out of the way and just let their costars be pretty and kick butt. Plus, the level of gore heaped on us by Zombies, Zombies, Zombies is excessive to the point of hilarity. Even if the CG is lousy, I had to respect the filmmakers' obvious "buckets of blood" philosophy.

Hey, if you're willing to take a chance on a zombie flick that is intentionally stupid, something that revels in its own lack of taste, then I recommend giving Zombies, Zombies, Zombies a rental. All others should stay away.

3 out of 5.

b.