What A Riot!

Hey, are you following all this business in Egypt?
Pretty wild, eh?


The masses have risen up to revolt against the corrupt and oppressive regime of Pharaoh Hosni Mubarak. He's a (formerly) US-supported dictator who could soon be the new century's Mussolini (in that he might be executed by an angry mob). The man's responded to demands for his resignation by offering to simply not seek reelection in September. Hmm, looks to me like too little, too late.


Now, I know that the images coming out of Egypt are all very exciting and scary and heart wrenching, etc., but what REALLY interests me about this whole situation is how people in America are reacting. It's funny to listen to pundits spin conspiracy theories about the real cause of Egypt's unrest, and what might come out of it.

Luckily, our friends over at Gawker have compiled an...um, compilation of nut job opinions on the whole Egypt deal. It's hilarious! Here's a rundown of the some of the more interesting theories:

--Glenn Beck: This is all leading to World War III, and Obama is a socialist.

--Rush Limbaugh: Obama is trying to become the next pharaoh of Egypt.

--John Bolton: This all means that we must bomb Iran, and Obama is to blame.

--Joel Richardson: Obama is the Antichrist.

-- Wayne Allyn Root: Obama will take away our Facebook.


The Gawker article has many more fun examples. Check it out!


Oh, and my favorite opinion is this one from Michael Walsh, which I'll just quote verbatim:

"Anyway, when you look at the course of revolution in the modern era, it's always the same-old same-old: Czar Nicky - Kerensky - Lenin; Kaiser Willie - Weimar Republic - Hitler; Shah Pahlavi - Mr. Bani Sadr - Khomeini. Heck, we can even take it one step further: Gorbachev - Yeltsin - Putin. In other words, no matter the high intentions and democratic slogans, it always turns out badly in the end..."

You know, for as amused as I am to see a corrupt dictator fall, I gotta admit that Mr Walsh is probably right. Egypt will just end up with another dictator, who may be even worse than the current one. Well, either that, or a crazy Islamic fundamentalist sort of regime made up of several dedicated revolutionaries who will run the country into the ground.

(Or maybe someone like this guy.)

Anyway, let's get our minds off of this violence by discussing a movie about...well...violence.

God Told Me To (1976)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075930/


Netflix description:
A rooftop sniper picks off 14 pedestrians on the streets of New York City. A mild-mannered dad takes a shotgun and blows away his wife and children. A cop goes on a sudden shooting spree at the St. Patrick's Day Parade. And each of these unlikely killers makes the same dying confession: "God told me to." Stars Deborah Raffin, Sandy Dennis and Tony Lo Bianco.

So, God Told Me To is a thriller from the 70s about a series of strange murders in New York City. A police detective named Peter Nichols finds out that there's a connection between all of the killings: the perpetrators each uttered the phrase, "God told me to do it."

Peter wants to know what the deal is here. Is there some kind of cult behind the murders? Could all of this be the result of some new street drug?? What if God really IS telling these people to kill???

Nah, it's actually more like the cult thing.


God Told Me To tries hard to create a creepy atmosphere, and at times, it did rope me in with intrigue; but for the most part, I found this picture to be rather boring. It didn't make me feel as excited as it really should have.

I mean, it could very well be that the bleak, muddy, friggin' Earth-toned look of the 1970s setting just got me feeling a little too depressed to enjoy anything at all, but the film itself also has to be blamed on some levels. It just dropped the ball and got too tedious, too fast, after beginning on a real high note. See, the first murderer is actually a roof-top sniper who blows away, like, 20 people. Panic ensues in the crowded streets below as this guy fires dozens of rounds from about 100 feet up. It's up to our hero, Lt. Peter, to talk the shooter down. Now, THAT RIGHT THERE could have made for a great movie. They should have stuck with that whole concept of random rooftop snipers. It was a cool idea!

But, NOOOO -- the movie delves into this series of stabbings and other bland forms of murder. The edge is lost within a few minutes, and I had trouble even paying attention after that. It's just a drawn-out, annoyingly verbose, investigation flick. Like most things from the 70s, God Told Me To just kind of sucks.


Some folks make a big deal about director Larry Cohen, but I frankly don't see the appeal of the guy's work. He makes uninspired schlock. I mean, c'mon -- The Stuff??? REALLY? The guy who made The Stuff is revered?!?

He sure doesn't come across as a good filmmaker with God Told Me To. The lighting is bad, every shot is bland, the sound is crap, and none of the characters are likable. Heck, the only thing about this movie that's really of any quality is the acting it features. Fine. It has good performances. Whatever.

Meh. I truly wanted to like God Told Me To. Sadly, it was just a disappointment. Another exploitation thriller from the 70s that has not aged well at all; a film with a promising premise, but poor execution. A let-down.

As I said above, Meh.

2 out of 5.

b.