Book Versus Movie

So, when I was about 16, my friend Wayne obtained a VHS copy of a film called S.F.W.....
It was a cynical, profane, and nihilistic attempt to cash in on depressed, white trash teenagers with bad attitudes. We totally loved it.


See, S.F.W. is the story of a stoner guy who gets taken hostage in a convenience store by a group of extremists with a plan to record his actions on a camcorder and broadcast them uncensored on television every day. Our hero is the ultimate smart ass/bad ass, and his vulgar antics and anarchistic rantings quickly propel him to flat out superstardom.

The movie made my friend and I feel better about ourselves, and actually indulge in the illusion of hope, because it presented a scenario in which even a total loser could find fame and fortune, simply by being himself. We never really talked about it that way, but I'm sure that's what drew us both to this motion picture -- it could ALMOST cause a member of the unwashed, downtrodden, trailer park-dwelling masses to fantasize about glory. At that moment in our lives, we both felt destined to spend the next few decades withering in obscurity, poverty, and despair; SFW appealed to us because it played on our misery by both mocking, and nurturing, it.


And our very favorite part of the whole thing was actually a random, three second bit in which the film's hero finally breaks free from his captors. See, here's what inspires him to fight back for the first (and only) time:

He runs out of beer.

Yeah, that's it.

The VERY SECOND our hero realizes that he's out of beer, he jumps up and kills all of the terrorists to get the heck out of there. No moment of hesitation, either -- the dude looks down at his last empty twelve pack and springs into action, lunging at the nearest gunman. Within minutes, they're all dead, and he walks out of there with a scowl on his face, determined to find more brews and (probably) more bud.


Funny, to be sure...and STILL the best moment in the entire movie.

But, what about the rest of it? Does the 32 year-old Andrew Terry Bartholomew Xavier Thadeus Green (Esquire the Third) find SFW as compelling and stimulating as the 16 year old version of him did???

Well, I'll tell you in a minute. But, FIRST...

I learned recently that SFW the MOVIE is actually based off a NOVEL, written by a chap named Andrew Wellman. Apparently, Wellman was, like, 22 years old when he penned this book, and upon its publication, he became (briefly) something of a "hot shot, young new voice of an entire generation" sort of phenom, or whatever. Heck, they probably even did a profile of him in Rolling Stone.

Needless to say, the dude has all but disappeared since then. Still, I recently purchased a copy of his novel, so that I might compare it to the cinematic version.


Lemme tell you -- the book is a real treat for a guy like me, who grew up in suburban Detroit, because it takes place there and Wellman includes TONS of details about D-Town living that only insiders like myself would comprehend. There are countless Detroit shout outs in SFW the book, which is not so much the case with the movie. I like that.

Plus, the book goes deeper into the psyche of our hero, and makes him far more believable than his celluloid counterpart. You know, there's a very specific class of people depicted in Wellman's SFW: the not-quite-blue-collar, white trash, burned out, given-up-on-life (or, maybe never had a go at it in the first place) northern suburban Detroit resident. And he represents them well. I know because I UNDERSTAND these people; I get their mindset.

In fact, I used to BE one of them, but luckily changed course in my late teens before it was too late (and so, incidentally, did my previously-mentioned pal, Wayne, in case you were wondering). I mean, I'm still dirt poor with few prospects in life...but at least my attitude is different. I'm glad it is, even though that fact won't mean much for me when all is said and done, anyway.


And I'm also glad "this particular class of people" is examined in Wellman's SFW. He was a promising writer and, unfortunately, the point of his novel is almost totally lost in its film adaptation.

Let's take a look.

S.F.W. (1994)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111048/


Netflix description:
When Gen-Xer Cliff Spab (Stephen Dorff) enters a suburban convenience store to buy some beer, he ends up with more than just a 6-pack -- he's taken hostage by terrorists! But with a gun to his head and national television capturing Spab's nihilistic attitude, people not only begin listening to the disgruntled youth … they create a cult out of him. Also stars Joey Lauren Adams, Jake Busey, John Roarke and Reese Witherspoon.

Well, you may have surmised that I feel SFW the movie is not as good as the book. Nice work, Sherlock.

But is the movie good, despite that?

Meh, not really. Watching SFW NOW, at 32 and with a much better eye for film quality than I had at 16, I can see that SFW is a weak, very HOLLYWOOD, attempt to appeal to Gen Xers -- kind of like the terrible Reality Bites and Singles, which were made around the same time.

This movie endeavors to create the illusion that it has a profound point about modern materialism by shoving a foul-mouthed, apathetic rebel in our faces; but it frankly doesn't have much substance once you get past that initial novelty. It's thin and weak.

As indicated, SFW is about a guy named Cliff Spab (Stephen Dorff), who gets taken hostage in a convenience store by terrorists who broadcast his antics on TV every night. Now, what I didn't mention before is that Cliff is not alone -- his best friend Joe and a pretty blond named Wendy (Reese Witherspoon) are also in there with him.

After 30-something days in captivity, Cliff and Joe finally fight back against the terrorists, and Joe is, sadly, killed in the struggle. Cliff and Wendy alone must emerge from the confines of their Seven Eleven prison to face a world now gone mad with Spab Fever. Yeah -- seems that Spab, for as negative and cynical as he is, has entranced the entire nation during his nightly news broadcasts over the past month or so. Everyone wants a piece of him; he's a media sensation!


At first, Spab recoils in the face of this madness. He hides; lashes out; resents the bizarre attention he's receiving, made all the worse by the fact that his best friend has just been killed and no one seems to care.

But, soon enough, Spab decides to embrace the opportunity to make some noise (and maybe some money). He comes out of hiding and calls a press conference, poised to blow America's mind with profound musings on the decline of modern culture. CAN Cliff Spab succeed in this mission???


I won't tell you; but I WILL say that SFW the film falls drastically short of the novel upon which it was based. In fact, even on its own merits, the movie is rather lame.

I mean, it just FEELS too contrived -- like its screenplay was drafted by a committee of yuppie Hollywood executives attempting to capture the jaded Gen X demographic without grasping its motivations in the slightest. Cliff Spab in the film is simply too pretty; too...sympathetic. The character here is designed to be marketable on some level....

But, in the book, he's NOT. That's the point -- the dude isn't SUPPOSED to be a likable person, per se. He just IS.

Maybe some of this problem is attributable to star Stephen Dorff. You know, I admire some of his work, but watching SFW, I get the impression that Dorff didn't really "get" what Spab was all about. He tries too hard to come across as rebellious and angsty, smirking and flipping his greasy hair around with an all-too-obvious air of "Whatever!" It doesn't work for me.

Oh, and yes -- I realize that, in the years since this film's release, "S.F.W." has come to be internet parlance for "Safe for Work." Hey, there's no way Andrew Wellman (or anyone) at that time could have predicted that, OK?

(What a "SFW" image might look like.)

And, if you must know, in the case of the novel and film being discussed here, "S.F.W." actually is supposed to mean, "So F-ing What?" Pretty friggin' punk rock, huh?

Anyway....

There's a reason why SWF the movie is largely unremembered. It's just bland and too slick for its own good. There was some genuine potential here, but the end result is just an uninspired, paint-by-numbers retelling of the book, with the setting and time period altered (and an ultra hip, Soundgarden-heavy, soundtrack thrown in). Really, this sucker is thoroughly lacking in soul, folks.

Maybe check it out if you're curious. If anything, at least SFW had an interesting premise behind it.

Then again, it was actually Andrew Wellman's premise, and not this dumbass film's, sooo....

Does SFW deserve ANY credit at all?

Probably not.

2 out of 5.

b.