More Stuff!

For the past few hours, I've been obsessed with the Bulgarian version of American Idol....
I know -- it's strange on multiple levels. For one thing, I don't care about the American version of American Idol (heck, I've never even SEEN it). So, why would I be interested in the Bulgarian version? And, beyond that, why would I want to watch any television program from Bulgaria in the first place? I've never been there; I don't speak the language; and, as far as I know, I have never so much as met a person who was even PART Bulgarian.


Well, the simple explanation is that I just find Bulgaria to be interesting, and its version of American Idol (called "Music Idol") is undeniably amusing. Clips of the program can be found all over YouTube. For example, check out contestant Valentina Hassan's rousing rendition of Mariah Carey's cover of Badfinger's "Without You". Apparently, Valentina's English is so bad that she thinks the song is called "Ken Lee", and even her fellow Bulgarians find that funny. She's like that country's William Hung -- so bad that she's become a 15-minute pop culture sensation over there. Following her first terrible audition, the Music Idol producers invited Valentina back to do the song again on the show later on in the season. Just look at how much the crowd loves her!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceGB_ArbGkc&feature=related

That's inspiring. But my enjoyment of Music Idol doesn't end there. Here's the show's eventual winner, 20 year-old Nevena Tzoneva -- a girl from the northern part of the country. She sang a beautiful mountain folk song following her victory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWPTqdT79Rs&feature=related

Makes me a little weepy. I love downtrodden European countries, a term which could pretty much be applied to any land east of Germany and west of Russia (although, in many ways, Russia, too, falls into the category). Historically, Bulgaria has been like a battlefield on which the bigger nations nearby could fight their wars. Passed around between different empires over the centuries, it's enjoyed an increase in the standard of living, and a surge in national pride, since the fall of the Soviet empire in the late 80s-early 90s. I was glad to learn that things are picking up there. It's been a few years since I checked in on Bulgaria (as a teenager, I used to memorize statistics about foreign countries with the aid of my trusty World Almanac), and I just happened to stumble across those Music Idol clips this morning. Now my interest in the country is rekindled. I just blew 23 bucks on a book about Bulgaria's history, so maybe I'll be mentioning that noble land in this blog again sometime soon....

Anyway, as long as I'm writing about things that no one else cares about, here's another movie featuring Teenape!

Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape! (2005)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0456150/


Netflix description:
"Chris Seaver's sequel to Mulva: Zombie A** Kicker continues the B-movie spoof-fest of the Kill Bill films. The action-comedy follows Mulva (Debbie Rochon) on a rampaging mission to kill the notorious Teen Ape for putting her into a sugar coma and stealing her Halloween candy. No one can stop Mulva as she seeks revenge on the monkey-man! Extras include audio commentary by Chris Seaver and Debbie Rochon, a behind-the-scenes featurette and more."

You may recall that in Sunday's entry, I promised to check out more films from Chris Seaver. Well, I wasn't lyin'. Here's a second bottom-of-the-barrel offering of the Low Budget Productions gang with everyone's favorite half-man, half-gorilla, Teenape. Apparently, this one was made some years before Teenape Goes To Camp, and it's just as bad, although more ambitious.

Let's start with some history. It seems that in a previous film, this chick called Mulva (I won't speculate on the orgins of her name) helped Teenape defeat an army of zombies. When that adventure was over, we're told, Teenape double crossed Mulva for some reason, and orchestrated a full-scale beat down of the poor girl, putting her into a coma. Mulva 2 opens five years later, as our heroine wakes up from her long slumber with a taste for revenge. She vows to hunt down everyone responsible for what's happened -- especially Teenape.

The movie is basically a parody of Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill. Mulva even dresses in an Uma Thurman-looking yellow jumpsuit, and learns advanced martial arts. One by one, she kills off Teenape's cohorts, leading up to the final battle -- mano a mano with the big man himself.

Like Teenape Goes to Camp, Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape! is cheap in every way. Shot on a handheld video camera, badly acted, and written like a rejected episode of South Park, no one could seriously call this picture "GOOD" in any conventional way. It's full of vulgar humor certain to make those with weak stomachs squirm, and half of the story makes no sense. So, the question, once again, is WHY did I friggin' like this movie???



I guess I liked it for the same reason that anyone likes something so trashy: put simply, because it's bad ON PURPOSE. There's a difference between John Waters crappy and Uwe Boll crappy, and it has to do with the level of joy that went into the product. John Waters can make vile garbage and still be loved because he KNOWS it's vile garbage, and wants it to be that way. We wince and smirk right along with him. Uwe Boll, on the other hand, makes complete crap believing it to be quality, and actually will take pains to defend it (I call him the modern Ed Wood). Therefore, Boll's films truly ARE bad, whereas as John Waters' aren't. Chris Seaver movies are sort of similar (although he's still leagues below Waters) -- like Troma productions, they're bad because that's what they're supposed to be...and for that reason, I enjoy them.


So, once again, I say take in Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape! at your own risk. The vast majority of viewers will hate this one, but those who are into crap (like me) ought to get a kick out of it. Oh, and since it's available through the Netflix instant streaming service, there's not even a need to waste an actual disk rental. Check it out.

2 out of 5.

b.