Return To Routine

Quick update on my Dad....
He's doing better than could be expected of anyone under such circumstances. Surgery to remove the brain tumor happened last week, and Dad recovered amazingly fast from that ordeal. With luck, he'll be out of the hospital today, and able to relax at home for some weeks before they start to tackle the whole lung thing.

Anyway, everything appears to be stable for now, so I suppose I can get back into the business of blogging about crappy movies. Otherwise, the terrorists win.

Terror at Blood Fart Lake (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464586/



Netflix description:
When a clutch of college pals retreats to an isolated cabin for a rowdy weekend of debauchery and carnal pleasures, a madman dons his creepy scarecrow costume and begins to prey upon the unsuspecting youths in unusually creative ways. It's like summer camp, but with death! Can any of the kids escape the shame of being slain at a place called Blood Fart Lake? Nicola Fiore and Josh Suire star in this outrageous lampoon of classic slasher flicks.


OK, so this is yet another shot-on-video amateur offering from the fine folks at Low Budget Productions. Following my recent review of Mulva 2, I sort of promised myself that I'd stay away from anything made by Chris Seaver for a while, but it looks like that goal is out the window. Really, I was not aware at all that Terror at Blood Fart Lake was a Seaver film when I queued it -- I didn't learn of his involvement until "a CHRIS SEAVER talkie" appeared on screen during the opening credits, and I slapped myself on the forehead (something I seem to do a lot). I guess it just goes to show what a small world the movie industry can be, huh?

Terror at Blood Fart Lake is an LBP take on the typical 80s slasher film. A group of youngsters head out to a remote location to enjoy a weekend of debauchery before starting the next semester of college, and are killed off by a guy in a scarecrow costume. Now, it's hard to believe that these folks would really be college students, let alone capable of so much as holding down a part-time job; but plausibility is not something that really matters in any Chris Seaver film, so it's not worth thinking about.

Anyway, not long after our killer makes his appearance, a mysterious female bounty hunter arrives, vowing to stop him. Played by Nicola Fiore, this chick seems to possess superpowers, many of which involve flatulence and casual sex. I don't know what her motivation is, but I friggin' liked her! Ms. Fiore is undoubtedly in line to become a B-movie goddess -- she's incredibly hot, has a great sense of humor, and, as we learn, is not shy at all about doing nude scenes (woo-hoo!). She is definitely the biggest thing that Terror at Blood Fart Lake has going for it, even if half of her scenes make no sense.


As is the case with Troma pictures, everyone's a caricature in the LBP universe, and you've got to approach Terror at Blood Fart Lake with the mindset that absolutely nothing should be taken seriously. This film is more comedy than horror, and the jokes around which it revolves are almost exclusively sophomoric. You know -- gags about bodily functions and fluids, etc. In fact, a few of them go pretty far, raising my eyebrows more than even the most disgusting moments of South Park. If anything, I must hand it to Chris Seaver for outdoing Trey Parker in the excrement joke department, even if he's still miles behind when it comes to coherent plot development.

And that's the thing -- Terror at Blood Fart Lake is just too poorly written to be recommendable. While I'm always up for a joyful, bargain basement exercise in immaturity (like anything from Troma), this picture simply misses its target. Every opportunity Seaver had to make TABFL worth watching was sidestepped. For instance, I would have liked to see more variety in the methods employed by our psycho scarecrow when killing the campers. In one scene, he stabs a guy with a corn cob, which I'll grant you is pretty creative....but LATER, he goes and uses that same technique AGAIN on someone else. A good slasher flick should include several clever murder tactics. I want to see something NEW each time, darn it!


I was also dismayed that the most annoying characters were the last ones to be killed. The chick who thinks she's a classic screen star and talks like Judy Garland survives almost all the way through, while the hilarious heavy metal party animal dies first. What the heck is THAT all about?

A climax sequence in which the super hot Nicola Fiore finally goes head-to-head with Mr. Scarecrow is a confusing letdown, and an obvious chance to give Seaver film staple Teenape a cameo at the very end is woefully squandered. I suppose that pretty much sums this film up -- potential not realized. While I usually can swallow and even enjoy intentionally-bad pictures like this, Terror at Blood Fart Lake simply failed to deliver, even if its heart was in the right place.

1 out of 5.

b.