The Universal Language

I've always been fascinated by Esperanto....
You've heard of it, right? Esperanto is a fully-functional language that was developed by a Polish doctor in the 1800s. His idea was to design a politically-neutral tongue that would be easy to learn and accessible to anyone in the world. Ludvik Zamenhof was his name, and, according to Wikipedia, he believed that having a universal language not rooted in any particular nation's culture might help foster peace on Earth. Yeah, peace on Earth.


Anyway, the idea couldn't have been ALL bad because this dude's language actually did catch on in some circles. I'm no expert on fancy wording, but from what I can gather, Esperanto really was designed with the sort of precision that only a true artist or visionary could muster. It's laid out in a very logical, easy to grasp manner, and incorporates words from several of the world's most common tongues. All very deliberate; all very pronounceable. They say that even a person with no understanding of Esperanto might at least be able to figure out a few bits and pieces of a sentence being spoken to him in it if he had to. The language flows nicely and has a simple alphabet. Plus, the chicks dig it.


Just ask some of the sailors around the world who speak Esperanto to make communication easier at their various international ports, etc, etc. And how about all of those diplomats and scientists who speak it? It's like EsperantoUSA.org says: "Although there aren't a lot of people who speak Esperanto in any one place, there are some almost everywhere." Magazines and newspapers are published in Esperanto; some military phrasebooks include it; and there have even been efforts to start new countries that use it as an official language.

It's estimated that the number of people worldwide who speak Esperanto is somewhere between one-thousand and ten million (interesting margin of error there). Not to mention, each year, there is an International Esperanto Congress at which the language's most dedicated proponents meet to discuss its benefits and new methods of advocacy. Will this passionate group ever accomplish its goal? Could WE ALL one day be speaking Esperanto???


Well, no -- it's kind of a lost cause...but a NEAT one if I ever did see it. I totally want to learn Esperanto!

Now here are some fun Esperanto facts:

--Adolph Hitler hated, and officially banned, Esperanto in Germany on the grounds that it was an international conspiracy of the Jews to undermine...whatever he thought they wanted to undermine.
--Esperanto is sometimes used in movies in the place of non-specific foreign languages. You ever see a film in which some villain speaks another tongue to his henchmen, but they never indicate exactly what it is? He could very well be speaking Esperanto.
--Anyone can learn Esperanto with the help of several easy-to-use online guides!
--UNESCO officially recognized Esperanto in 1954.
--A short-lived "micronation" called Rose Island listed Esperanto as its official language in 1967. The artificial island was similar to Sealand, which I've written about before. Fascinating.

Oh, and there has been a grand total of two movies made entirely in the Esperanto language: Angoroj, which has been lost to mankind, and Incubus, which I'll be reviewing for you right...about...nnn-NOW.

Incubus (1965)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059311/


Netflix description:
A pre-"Star Trek" William Shatner stars in this bizarre horror flick about evil demons that use sex to conquer innocent souls for Satan. Wandering through an otherworldly place called Nomen Tuum, Shatner plays Marc, a decent man who battles a succubus named Kia (Allyson Ames) while trying to protect his sister from Kia's male counterpart (Milos Milos). The real kicker? The whole script is written in the "universal language" of Esperanto.

Incubus is a weird one. I mean, why did its director choose to make his movie in Esperanto, anyway? -- That's the question everyone who has ever seen this picture must ask out loud at least 47 times. It's just so bizarre that a filmmaker would choose to go with Esperanto. What market was he aiming at? You might as well make a movie in Pig Latin (which, now that I think of it, would be pretty darn cool)!

The other important thing about Incubus is that it stars William Shatner. Yup -- the Shat. He reportedly memorized his Esperanto lines phonetically without actually learning the language while on set in California (this was about a year before Star Trek). Real Esperanto speakers are said to laugh heartily at the absurdity of Shatner's accent when they see Incubus, but I'm not going to hold that against him. Mispronouncing a fake language that only a few thousand people speak is hardly a strike against an actor's abilities. I still love you, Shat!


Anyway, the movie takes place in the Dark Ages, and is about a man who lives in some village where there is a magical well known to cure any ailment. You know -- you drink the well's water, and within seconds, your cancer, typhoid, lupus, and athlete's foot all go away. Neat!

Now, that might SOUND like a good thing, but, as Incubus tells us early on, the magical well also attracts a lot of sinners. The vain, for example, will show up and drink its holy waters simply to improve their physical appearance (got bad acne or a double chin? The well can help!). SO, not only is this little village a place of healing, but it's also a hotbed of temptation and scheming by demons.

Enter Kia, the succubus. She works for Satan, and her job involves hanging around the magical well, luring lustful men out into the ocean for the purposes of soul harvesting. She's pretty good at it, but there's one problem -- Kia is bored. See, as she explains in an early scene, it's easy to trick a BAD man into drowning himself in exchange for sex; what requires real skill is convincing a GOOD man to do the same thing. Kia wants to prove her succubus talent by luring a clean, not-already-compromised, soul into the pits of Hell. So, she finds William Shatner (er, Marc).

He's a generally good, pious man, and Kia thinks she can seduce him. The two meet in the woods, and at first, Kia does pretty well, convincing Marc to walk her to the ocean. On the way, however, she comes on a little too strong, and Marc gets suspicious. WILL Kia and and her evil helpers from the netherworld be able to corrupt Marc and swallow his soul???


Incubus is ALMOST a really good movie. I mean, it looks beautiful, and has an engaging plot. Performances (as far as I can tell) are good, and at times the film is even kind of scary. About a quarter in, I remarked to the missus that the only thing really holding this one back is the fact that it's in Esperanto. I felt a lot like I was watching an art movie; it's remarkably similar Bergman's The Seventh Seal. Not nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

At least, that's what I thought until little mistake after little mistake started piling up, and I finally had to walk away feeling like I'd just seen a glorified B-movie. See, Incubus, for as nicely-shot and eloquently-written as it is, has a whole lot of flaws. We'll notice the boom mic protruding clearly into a shot; we'll spot a set wobble on its cheap foundation; we might crack up at an especially silly effect (the Shatner vs Possessed Goat fight toward the end made my wife howl with laughter)....It all adds up.

The movie is interesting and entertaining, but its technical shortcomings leave us feeling a little disappointed. Incubus wants us to think it's some groundbreaking, profound art film; but the truth is that it's little more than a slightly above-average monster story. Maybe filming it in Esperanto wasn't such a bad idea, after all -- that's really the one thing that makes this picture stand out. Well...that, and Shatner.

Still, a high five to the fine folks at the Sci-Fy Channel, who found Incubus and restored it for the world's enjoyment in 2001 after the original prints were nearly lost forever in a fire. It's worth keeping something like this around, if even for history's sake. No reason not to give it a rental. Just don't expect too much.

3 out of 5.

b.