The Apathy Protest

You know, I sometimes watch the news and marvel at the kinds of people who show up for protests....
They obviously feel very strongly about whatever the issue happens to be, and that's something to which I have trouble relating. The truth is that I really don't care about any of the big-name, hot button, national issues enough to bother leaving the house. Yes, it's horrible to say such a thing, but I gotta be me here. Sure, I read and watch the news constantly, but it's mostly for entertainment value; I really don't have any emotional stake in how any of these stories turn out. You know why??? Because I believe that things in the world will end up the way they were supposed to, regardless of what we do or how much we argue. It really makes no difference in the end.


Take global warming, for example. I realize it's a serious issue...or maybe it's a serious hoax. Hmm. I really don't know, nor do I care. If the powers that be wish to pursue the "green economy" and pass laws to limit CO2 emissions, I think that's great. However, if they decide to ignore the concept of climate change, and continue letting us drive SUVs that get 50 feet to the gallon, that's just fine, as well. When all is said and done, it will make no difference either way. This failed experiment known as Humanity will fade into the history of the universe soon enough; whether it's because of our greenhouse emissions or the Ice Capades matters not.


Well, I think that people who are NOT interested in such issues should make their voices heard, as well. Just because we think yelling about climate change or, say, healthcare will have no long-term effect on anything doesn't mean we should keep quiet. Voices like mine are always ignored by the those who are too busy blindly following a cause, and that's unfair. I wish there was some way to organize other apathetic people, just to be recognized. We need to stand up and demand that our neutrality be respected! We need to FORCE everyone to listen to our cynicism!! We need to INSIST that our disinterestedness be TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!

I know it seems like a logical impossibility -- getting people who don't care about anything to organize...but I think I may be on to something. My best friend Internet has made just about any feat possible, so I think that, using the web, I could convince enough folks to show up to an Apathy Protest. We could march on Washington to declare our indifference to everything that happens there:


We must send a clear message to elected leaders:


The media had better hear us, too!


"What do we want?"
"Nothing!"
"When do we want it?"
"Whenever!!!"

Anyway, I suppose the main message would be that leaders should respect our numbers and take care not to do something that really WOULD bother us. "Don't you make me show up to actually VOTE, Mr. Obama!"

And speaking of things no one cares about, here's another movie from England.

Blow Dry (2001)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212380/


Netflix description:
It's The Full Monty with hair curlers! Alan Rickman stars as Phil, a once-great hairstylist reduced to running a barbershop in the desolate English burg of Keighley. But when the national hairdressing championships come to town, Phil decides to give the big time another shot -- especially because it affords him a chance to get even with ex-wife and competing stylist Shelley (Natasha Richardson)!

I had high hopes for Blow Dry. I felt certain that it would turn out to be one of those well-written, offbeat little English comedies with a good soul that I'd recommend to everyone I know. I've seen lots of them, and on the surface, Blow Dry appeared to have all the elements of such a picture: it's got a unique premise; an excellent cast; an oddball small town setting...Hey, it's even written by the same guy who did The Full Monty, so you know it's GOT to be good, right?

Well, not really. Unfortunately, Blow Dry just fails to realize any of its potential, and winds up being a thoroughly ho-hum experience. It's about a bunch of hair stylists who reignite old rivalries when a big hair styling competition comes through their town. Bill Nighy plays a former hotshot hair dresser who has long since dropped out of the competitive circuit, and Alan Rickman is his old nemesis who taunts him into reentering one last time. There are also sidestories about Nighy's failed marriage to a beautician who is now a lesbian, and a twenty-something son trying to romance his best childhood friend.

Blow Dry SHOULD HAVE, and COULD HAVE, been funny. I mean, these people are competitive hair stylists, for goodness sake! There ought to be plenty of great material to mine in that premise, and at times, it does feel as though the film is trying to do that. The evil Alan Rickman (who always makes a great villain -- just see Die Hard) rigs a blow drying event by slipping faulty combs into the supplies of his foes, and many of the other contestants are over-the-top in their hairstyling arrogance. Playing up that kind of absurdity should have been the way to go for director Paddy Breathnatch. Paddy, my dear, with something like this you should make it all look ridiculous to keep us laughing while building up the characters. THEN, in the end, you can bring us into the fold during a final scene of triumph, a la Run Fatboy Run. What you CAN'T do is try to make the hairstyling competition seem like a serious thing and expect the audience to stay engaged. The concept is just too silly. I found myself confused as to just what kind of comedy Blow Dry was supposed to be.


This uneven direction makes the film ineffective. Although I enjoyed some of the quirkier scenes depicting small town life and was glad to see a film with such a top-notch cast (this picture even features Josh Hartnett playing an English guy, and his accent ain't bad at all) , the overall rhythm of Blow Dry makes it too hard to swallow. The film wavers between goofiness and sappiness; between drama and off-kilter comedy. It should have gone full-speed toward the latter, and if handled properly, the strategy would have worked. Instead, what we get is a confused, badly-paced motion picture. What a disappointment.

2 out of 5.

b.