Live In Three, Two, One....

Back around the summer of 2004, I briefly worked for a public access TV channel....
See, when I was in broadcasting school, they made everyone go through parts of both the radio AND television programs, regardless of what each student wanted to do in the end. Although my intention had always been to pursue radio, I still had to get a bit of a TV education in order to graduate (I guess the school's thought was that all students ought to grasp both sides of the industry, even if they're only interested in one of them). Really, though, the TV program wasn't so bad. Doing those mock evening news shows and learning about camera operation, lighting, and mic technologies was sort of interesting for me. Heck, at one point I even considered dropping radio and becoming a TV cameraman instead. Fortunately, I was wise enough to stick with my original plan in the end.


Anyway, while I was looking for a radio job after graduation, I happened to hear from a former classmate that the public access TV station in my town was hiring part timers to do random jobs around the studio. I really didn't know a whole heck of a lot about television production apart from the handful of entry-level classes that I'd barely passed, but figured, "Screw it; I should be good enough," and applied. Why not? I KIND of understood television broadcasting, right?

The station -- I'll call it ShmmmMarxton Community Television -- hadn't really done much in years. The township owned it, and just kind of used the thing to broadcast community bulletins and a weekly news show that was run by two volunteers. However, there were changes coming. See, it seems that the board of trustees had recently decided to actually make something out of their public access resource, and therefore obtained a grant to bring about several improvements to the operation. With the aid of that sweet government money and several donations, they brought in an ambitious retiree named Dave, and charged him with the mission of expanding programming. He was the one who hired me after I made a few exaggerations about my qualifications.


Dave had big plans for ShmmmMarxton Community Television. He wanted to have the station broadcast actual content 24 hours a day, and started looking for people to host a number of original shows. Boxes full of video tapes started pouring in from around the state, as he'd sent letters to other public access outfits everywhere asking for contributions. They were stacked around the office almost to the ceiling. The first thing Dave wanted me to do was sort them.

Grunt work, to be sure, but exactly the kind of easy stuff a lazy young man such as myself would want to do while he looked for a real job. Making the experience even better was the fact that I got to work with this super hot chick that I'd gone to school with. I remember my excitement on the days when I'd get to the station and see that she was there. "YES! We're sorting boxes together...and she and me are gonna have to bend down ALL DAY LONG...."

(It's the simple things in life, you know?)

Ahem.

So anyway, I enjoyed my gig doing menial tasks for Dave. My favorite thing about it all (besides the excellent scenery) was getting to WATCH the weird and forgotten public access TV shows that had been sent to us from all corners of Michigan. You never knew what you were gonna get. There might be a random tape of an interview with some long-retired sheriff in the Upper Peninsula packaged in with a medical show from Detroit that had been made in the late 70s...and next to THAT would be a whole series of puppet shows from the 60s. It was a total grab bag of obscure crap, and I absolutely loved it.

One guy even sent us a box of old movies that he claimed were public domain and could therefore be aired without the permission of anyone. I didn't bother investigating that, and placed them on the schedule. See, at that early stage, Dave was taking suggestions from us grunts about what to air. We'd propose something, and he'd pretty much do it. SO, I slyly arranged to have several old movies shown at, like, one in the morning on multiple occasions. It was awesome to sit and home and watch them knowing that I'd been responsible for their presence on my TV screen. I've often wondered how many other insomniac drunks stumbled across those movies while channel surfing and actually watched them. Probably not too many; but STILL, I like the thought of it.


I love crappy stuff that no one else cares about. Say I'm at the Dollar Tree and I find some obscure DVD of a lousy sitcom from the 50s that somehow wound up in the public domain. I will totally buy that DVD and watch every episode it contains. Plus, I'll do research on it. Hey, I want to know who made what and when, as it's important that someone in the world keeps track of such information. Why, the day could very well come when I, the Drewmeister, will be the only man alive to know all about the original Tom and Jerry, for example. Then I'll finally get to be a big shot.

But it's not just for archival purposes that I'm drawn to obscure content. No, I also just get this funny feeling that I'm doing something significant when I watch a program that no one else is interested in. It feels more real to me...especially if it's live and hosted by an amateur. Know what I mean? I want to see people screwing up; I want to see people doing things on TV that they're not supposed to be doing!

And THAT'S where public access comes in. You can find all of the most fascinating, downright REAL shows in that arena. People of limited skill looking foolish while trying to make a difference. I love it. I'd much rather see, say, a laid off metal shop teacher mumble his way through a show about bird watching than some lame crime drama on CBS. It's more interesting to me.

(Ken Sander: the greatest public access talk show host of all-time.)

Anyway, Dave at ShmmmMarxton Community Television eventually had me taking the station's cameras out in the public to film things like village council meetings and municipal concerts. Man, was that a good summer -- me and a hot chick with a TV camera, hanging out in the park and getting paid??? What did I ever do to deserve such fine luck?

I used to slip little random shots of stuff that I liked into the concert and meeting tapes so that they'd air. Like, you might be watching some concert in the park on our station and, out of the blue, the camera would quickly pan down to a shot of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figure standing on a tree branch. Then, it would go right back to the performer on stage with no explanation. I wonder if anyone ever noticed these little touches. They were my way of reaching out to the community in a meaningful way.


I also got to work on the station's afore-mentioned news program. It was hosted and run by two locals. Half the time you couldn't understand what they were saying, and the other half, you didn't WANT to understand. They read all of their news straight from the town's weekly newspaper, an arrangement to which the paper had apparently agreed.

I was shocked by this. I mean, broadcast news and newsPAPERS are written totally differently. You can't just read straight from the newspaper on the TV or radio. What were these people DOING? The show, as well-intentioned as it was, was clearly not the environment for me. I drew the line there. I needed something with slightly higher standards. I needed to express my news reporting sensibilities in a place where they'd be understood!

(See? It just don't work.)

Anyway, I left my public access TV job after a few months when I landed my first radio news gig, and never looked back. But there's a happy twist regarding Dave's efforts to build up ShmmMarxton Community Television: it's actually pretty impressive these days. They've got a nice website, several locally-produced shows, and 24-7 programming, going strong to this very day. The guy actually pulled it off. I watch the station whenever I'm home visiting my mom. And to think -- I was there, making my own little mark, back when the whole thing got off the ground. Huzzah and kudos to you, Dave, for being a dreamer!

I think every community ought to have a public access station, and I'm disappointed that the place where I currently live does not. Cable companies should be required by law to provide one in all markets. Screw what they say about costs, too -- let them raise everyone's rates by two cents per month to cover the difference. It's a vital public service!

Anyway, here's a movie all about the magic of public access TV.

Public Access (1993)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107895/


Netflix description:
A clean-cut drifter arrives in the peaceful town of Brewster and creates a local TV call-in show, asking viewers one question: "What's wrong with Brewster?" As his show becomes increasingly popular, the stranger's intentions become less clear … and more terrifying. A mix of Frank Capra and Franz Kafka, Public Access takes a chilling look at media overload, complicity and the darkness within.

Public Access is a thriller about a mysterious dude with huge lips who moves to a small town called Brewster and starts a talk show on its cable channel. We're not sure exactly what his mission is, but the guy -- named Whiley -- is creepy from shot one. He's clearly got sinister motives.

Our suspicions about Wiley are confirmed when the first episode of his show airs. Within two minutes, he stares into the camera and asks, "What's wrong with Brewster?" opening up a flood of phone calls from viewers who have their own little beefs with the town. Soon, the program becomes a forum for everyone who wants to spread rumors and complaints about their neighbors, local celebrities, and especially the mayor. Is Whiley just trying to destabilize this peaceful little community, or is he up to something even worse?

It's all very fascinating...to a point. I mean, the premise here is compelling enough, and I enjoyed the behind-the-scenes stuff about the public access channel. One especially amusing moment for me was when Whiley is watching one of its shows (about knitting) and the host actually falls asleep on the air. That's hilarious! I would totally watch that.

Well, more stuff happens...there are a few twists...and Whiley leaves us all sort of wondering what his deal really is. The end. Pretty simple overall, if anti-climactic.


The problem with Public Access is that it's just plain hokey. This is one of Brian Singer's first films, and although it hints at his future ability, the presentation simply feels too much like some kind of bad soap opera. The close ups come at the most predictable moments, plot twists are visible from 40 miles away, and the half-comatose Whiley shows his true colors in exactly the manner we'd expect. Better writing or direction could have saved this one; but as is, Public Access is a total let-down.

I mean, I did like the stuff about exposing resentment in small towns. Having lived in some VERY tiny towns, I can tell you that the friendly, cordial demeanor of many residents melts away the second they're behind closed doors. If you let people in a small community cut loose anonymously, WATCH OUT! Conspiracy theories are rampant, and old rivalries never die. THAT could have made for an engaging motion picture.

But I guess that's been done before, anyway. Hey, Public Access is a good movie for about 35 minutes, but then it loses its edge almost completely. The curious are advised to go ahead and check it out, but everyone else should just pass. Too bad; this could have been a good one.

2 out of 5.

b.