It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

I love the fall....
It's dark and depressing, which reminds me of my teenage years. Plus, I look forward to the food. Nothing like heading over to The Dollar Tree in October to see what great snack items they've released for Halloween this year. There's no shortage of bizarre candies, but what I REALLY enjoy are the baked goods. Like those sugar cookies shaped like ghosts. Or pumpkin cakes. Ah, pumpkin cakes....


October and November appear to be the only months of the year during which anything is done with pumpkins, and that kind of bothers me because I think pumpkins are cool. I mean, just look at them -- they're these huge, round, orange things! What's not to like? A perfectly viable crop, yet barely used for any practical purpose. Why in the world not? Couldn't pumpkins be the basis for a variety of products in the same way that, say, blueberries and grapes are? Why is there no pumpkin yogurt? Why is there no pumpkin jelly, pumpkin cereal, or pumpkin gum? Why must the pumpkin be relegated to the status of a quaint, seasonal novelty?


If I had a farm, I would grow tons of pumpkins. Screw what everybody says -- I'd find some use for them. I'd devote my time toward promoting the pumpkin, perhaps as the founder of the American Pumpkin Council. In my lab, I'd find a way to simulate the taste of the pumpkin so that it could be used as an artificial flavor in mass-produced food products twelve months out of the year. I'd probably lose millions, but at least it would be for a worthy cause. I'm tired of having to wait until friggin' October to get my pumpkin fix.

However, I DO have to admit that the picture isn't totally bleak. In recent years, I have noticed more pumpkin-based foods popping up in stores and snack shops. Cabana Ice Cream -- in Saint Joseph, Michigan -- has at various times offered pumpkin ice cream, which is delicious. You can also find many pumpkin breads, cakes and, of course, pies this time of year in supermarkets. Not to mention, the fine folks at Little Debbie have jumped on the pumpkin bandwagon:


My horrible photography aside, the above products are quite delicious. Perhaps one day, something like Pumpkin muffins will be available year-round, instead of just during Halloween season.

And as long as we're talking about Halloween, here's a monster movie now in theaters. It's a blast!

Zombieland (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/


Netflix description:
An easily spooked guy, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), joins forces with wild man Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) to fight for survival in a world virtually taken over by freakish zombies. As they destroy scores of the undead, they meet up with two other survivors, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) and Wichita (Emma Stone), and journey to a supposedly safe abandoned amusement park. Ruben Fleischer directs this horror romp.

You know, I'm willing to tolerate the mainstreamization of the zombie if pictures like Zombieland are part of the result. I had a good time watching this film because it gets in and out quickly, the way something like it should.

So the main character is a young guy named Columbus. He's a bit of a coward, but has a much higher than average ability to survive a zombie apocalypse due to a set of rules he's written down in the months since the undead outbreak began. A simple list of 30 or so nuggets of wisdom for making it in this brave new world of zombiedom (for example, Beware of Bathrooms -- the zombies will always find you in there when your guard is down). We meet Columbus several months after the outbreak began, and most other people have apparently been wiped out. One day, he happens across Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson. Tallahassee is a cowboy-like zombie killin' machine. He doesn't just excel at slaying the undead; he LOVES it. Why? Because he really HATES THEM. The two men join forces, and soon run into a couple of chicks who swindle them out of their car. The girls are named Little Rock and Wichita. See, in Zombieland, everyone just goes by the name of their hometown. It keeps the survivors from getting too personal with each other, ya know?

Anyway, Columbus falls for Wichita; Wichita falls for Columbus; Tallahassee kills a ton of zombies; they all meet Bill Murray (WHOOPS, did I forget to say SPOILER ALERT?)....It ends with a fantastic scene of zombie mayhem in an amusement park. Taa-daa!

I, for one, loved this film. As hinted above, Zombieland just keeps pushing forward. This film is fundamentally a comedy, but it doesn't wimp out when it comes to the action and gore, either. Although I would have preferred a little more straight up zombie action, there's plenty here to satisfy just about any audience, and the movie only stops a few times for character development and other such nonsense. Even then, we get the bare minimum, just to make our heroes likable, and then the action graciously resumes. This was a relief to me, since I've found that most zombie comedies waste too much time on crap other than the main attractions -- the zombies. I don't want to get an in-depth analysis of each character's relationship history. I want to know that basics about them, and then be allowed to move on. Zombieland gets this stuff right.


What else is there to say about Zombieland? Most viewers will simply tell you "It rocks!", or "It rules!", and, really, that just about sums it up. Simple concept here, folks: four characters, lots of zombies. Everyone moves fast, and the audience is rewarded. I would have liked a FEW more zombie killings, and perhaps the focus to shift a LITTLE more toward the hilarious Tallahassee...but whatever. Overall, there's not much to complain about. You just GOTS to see Zombieland, man!

4 out of 5.

b.