Why is there no Arby's in my town?
The Saint Joseph-Benton Harbor area of Michigan's Great Southwest CLEARLY should have an Arby's restaurant, and yet it does not. Now, don't get me wrong: I LOVE SAINT JOSEPH; but I ALSO LOVE ARBY'S. When I lived in the Detroit area, I would stop at Arby's locations frequently, and enjoy such high-quality menu offerings as the French Dip, the Big Montana, curly fries and, of course, the Classic Roast Beef Sandwich. I savored such delicacies; but alas, I also took them for granted. Back in my big city days, I failed to appreciate how fortunate I really was in having countless fast food options a mere stone's throw away from my home. Growing up, and through my college years, I never seriously contemplated the notion that, one day, something like an Arby's would ever be out of my reach. It would have struck me as ridiculous.
Then, when I was about 24 years old, I left home for a life on my own for the first time. Away I moved to a tiny, tiny city called Bad Axe, in Michigan's remote Thumb region. Little did I understand the true nature of genuine small town living until I actually experienced it. Now, I have many fond memories of Bad Axe (in fact, I recently told my fiance that I would like my ashes to be scattered around the entire Thumb region when I die), but the sad fact remains that the town had no Arby's. Nor did it have a Domino's Pizza, a Denny's, or a good place to get buffalo wings. Such deprivations wore me down over the four years I spent there, and as I have mentioned in previous entries, I was practically insane by the time I left.
Fast forward to 2007, when I moved to Benton Harbor, Michigan. The first time I saw this town, I thought, "Hallelujah! They've got a MALL; a movie theater; a Best Buy; a Domino's! I could NEVER be unhappy in this place." It seemed perfect. Little did I notice, at the time, that THERE WAS NO FRIGGIN' ARBY'S!!! Yeah, every other major fast food chain can be found in this area, BUT NOT ARBY'S. What the heck is wrong with this picture?
Now, I have come to learn that there used to be not one, but TWO, Arby's around here just a little while ago; but they both went under shortly before I arrived for reasons unrelated to profitability (and to add insult to injury, the Hardee's nearby closed too, like, a month after I moved in). This is unacceptable. Why in God's good name would this area lack an Arby's restaurant? SURELY there is an entrepreneur capable of raising the capital to open such a franchise in the vicinity. Where is he? Why is he neglecting to act? It's been TWO YEARS since I got here, and still nothing! I don't know about everyone else, but I'm tired of having to drive 30 friggin' miles to Paw Paw or Niles just to enjoy a roast beef sandwich....
Ahem. I feel much better now. Anyway, while I'm on the subject of moral outrages, here's a British film that blew a perfectly good premise.
Outlaw (2007)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758771/
Netflix description:
Sean Bean stars as Danny Bryant, a disgruntled ex-soldier who forms a modern-day renegade team of angry, like-minded citizens to serve up vigilante justice to drug dealers and corrupt government officials. But when their identity is compromised, they find themselves on the receiving end of outlaw violence. Directed by Nick Love, this crime drama also features Danny Dyer, Lennie James, Rupert Friend, Sean Harris and Bob Hoskins.
OK, so the idea behind Outlaw is a good one. Apparently, there has been a problem in England lately concerning out-of-control youths. See, as far as I can gather, groups of unruly young people known as "chavs" have been wreaking havoc in urban areas, committing crimes and disrespecting all that is decent and proper. The technocrat authorities in London have demonstrated an inability to reign in these hooligans, and a general dissatisfaction with the state of things has set in among the common populace.
Outlaw is a response to that phenomenon. It's about a group of chaps who decide they've had quite enough, thank you, of being pushed around by base ruffians. Each one has a back story of victimization, and therefore a motive to go vigilante. These blokes team up to fight back against hoodlum violence.
Outlaw, at first glace, has a great concept. Common people taking matters in their own hands when the proper authorities fail to act??? Sign me up! This film generated a bit of controversy back in Britain when it was being produced, since its very nature is bound to provoke emotion with most any spectator. I had high hopes for the picture when I finally got a chance to queue the disk on Netflix. Did it live up to my expectations?
In a word, Nope. The unfortunate truth is that Outlaw is a meandering mess that misses its target by about three quarters of a mile. It starts out promising enough, with a fairly engaging series of stories about our group of eventual vigilantes. They've all been messed with by out-of-control chavs. Humiliated, tormented, helpless....Anyone who's been picked on can relate. When they band together under the leadership of an ex-military guy played by the ultra-cool Sean Bean, things get interesting...for a bit. Sadly, however, the plot quickly loses focus, and the film turns into some kind of muddled underworld gangster-government conspiracy saga.
Manic, confusing direction makes matters worse, as Nick Love, frankly, isn't skilled enough to make such a story coherent. Even the fight scenes, which were touted as shockingly violent, fall flat. The camera darts in every direction, as we wonder what the heck is going on. I wanted to see PUNKS GETTING THEIR FACES SMASHED. The film comes close to paying off, but it's all shot so badly that the experience is less than satisfying. I also couldn't care less about the Sean Bean character's mercenary past. It's just too complicated.
Outlaw COULD have been a great movie. I mean, I loved the idea behind it. Alas, it also happened to be the idea of a BAD director who lacked the capacity to grow that little seed into anything worth seeing. He gets a couple of points for trying, but the fact remains that this film is a disappointing bore.
2 out of 5.
b.
C'mon over to my hometown - you can take the Arby's here home with you. It shouldn't be that hard to carry, since it's always empty (Seriously. Six p.m., height of supper time, long lines at McD's and BK, even Wendy's is wall-to-wall, and Arby's has one car in the parking lot and it obviously belongs to the sole employee, who's sitting on the curb by the front door, having a smoke.)
ReplyDeleteArby's should change their advertising. It's a horrendous mistake to show their chopped-and-formed compressed beef food product to potential customers, especially in HD where each slice looks like a thin sheet of red SPAM.
PS - How were the Arby closings in your area "unrelated to profitablity?" Did the owners die or something?
I've been told that The owner gambled away all his money and went to jail....
ReplyDeleteAnd I can never understand why every McDonald's everywhere always seems to be busy. It baffles me that people continue to herd themselves into McD's when they have so many other interesting options.
McDonald's owes their popularity to massive marketing campaigns aimed at children. Hook 'em young and they're yours forever.
ReplyDelete