Stupid Economy

So, the lousy economy is apparently hitting the video game industry now....
Game Crazy, a video game retail chain, announced recently that it's closing some 200 stores around the country. That's a shame, although I also must admit that I never liked Game Crazy nearly as much as its rival, Gamestop. On the surface, the two stores are basically the same thing, but the EMPLOYEES at Gamestop have always been much easier for me to deal with. The reason? Game Crazy clerks are far too pushy when it comes to signing customers up for all of those stupid extras that retail outlets are so into these days. Member cards, newsletters, pre-orders, disk insurance -- Game Crazy reps will not take NO for an answer.



It makes the shopping experience unpleasant when one knows that the clerk is going to hound him about paying for additional crap that he doesn't really want. Now, I know that it's not really the employees' fault, per se. My fiance once worked at a major specialty retail chain, and she tells me the corporate office often mandates that sales grunts ask each customer a certain number of times to sign up for the discount cards, etc. "Secret shoppers" will come by to check up on whether the clerks are being annoying enough, and penalize those who aren't. District managers, in particular, are notorious for being Nazis about such things...but I say that they don't know what they're doing (to get that far in retail, you'd probably HAVE to be full of crap).

In this regard, the Game Crazy DMs must be absolute terrors. I've never successfully walked out of a Game Crazy carrying what I wanted without having to feel guilty about shooting down some register jockey's repeated entreaties to buy extra stuff. "NO, I don't want your membership card, even though I'm aware that it would save me ten percent on all used game purchases." I don't care if I'm being illogical; I just DON'T WANT TO SIGN UP. These guys don't quit.

CLERK: "Thanks for coming to Game Crazy. Ah, I see you've picked up Left 4 Dead. Excellent choice. Would you like to insure the disk for an additional two dollars?"
The Drewmeister: "No thanks."
CLERK: "Are you sure? It's just two bucks, and it guarantees that if anything happens to the disk, we'll fix or replace it for free."
Drew: "Nah, I'm all right."
CLERK: "Well, I mean, the game is 60 bucks. For only two extra dollars, you can be sure that it wasn't all a waste. You know -- sometimes these things go bad."
Drew: "N...nah."
CLERK: "Well, if you INSIST...but I really must say that you're making the wrong choice, man!"
Drew: "That's fine."
CLERK: "OK, well, your total comes to $76."
Drew: "$76??? The game is only 60 bucks!"
CLERK: "Well, yes. That's 60 dollars for the game; about four dollars for the tax; two dollars for the disk insurance; and ten dollars for the Game Crazy Membership Benefits plan."

Drew: "I didn't sign up for any of that extra stuff."
CLERK:"....Well, I..."
Drew: "Just take it off of there. I don't friggin' want it."
CLERK: "Yes, but with our benefits plan, you can save 14 percent of all used purchases made between the hours of 2 and 3 AM. You'll also get a subscription to our newsletter, which often contains coupons for items occasionally stocked in locations other than this one!"
Drew: "I don't want any of that. Just ring me up for the game."
CLERK: "Well, OK...but I'm afraid you're making a horrible mistake."
Drew: "I don't care."
CLERK: "Fine. I thought we had some kind of connection happening there, but I guess I was wrong. If you just want to screw me like this, then so be it."
Drew: "...."
CLERK: "That'll be 83 dollars."
Drew: "Oh, come on...."
CLERK: "I'll just sign you up for our platinum, PREMIUM plan! It gets you a seven percent discount on..."
Drew: "Darn you, just ring up the game and nothing else. I don't WANT ANYTHING!"
CLERK: "Please don't do this to me...."
Drew: "RING IT UP!"
CLERK: "Just get the insurance. My DM will do...bad things to me if you don't get the insurance."
DREW: "No means NO!"
CLERK: "At least PRE-ORDER something!"
The Drewster: "Forget it. I'll just go to Target."

Afterward, the DM, I imagine, leads my hapless clerk down to the store's basement for a Pulp Fiction-style torture-training session. Good luck, friend!


Anyway, while we're on the subject of people who deserve a beating, here's a movie about rich white kids trying to be something they're not. Hilarity ensues.

Havoc (2005)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285175/


Netflix description:
The elegant Anne Hathaway takes off her Princess Diaries crown to play a wealthy Los Angeles teen who, along with her superficial friends, wants to break out of suburbia and experience Southern California's "gansta" lifestyle. But problems arise when the preppies get in over their heads and provoke the wrath of a violent Latino gang. Suddenly, their role-playing seems a little too real. Bijou Phillips, Freddy Rodriguez and Michael Biehn co-star.

So, Havoc is about a group of angstful rich kids who like to pretend that they're super tough gangstas. They talk like they belong in the deepest bowels of the ghetto...except, of course, when their parents are around, in which case they sound like the crew from Buffy.

One day, just for kicks, the kids drive down to the REAL ghetto, and have a bit of a run-in with some REAL gangsta types. It doesn't go so well, and the lead white boy ends up peeing himself. Not long after, his girlfriend (played by Anne Hathaway) returns to the shady neighborhood where this altercation took place, and seeks the affections of a crack dealing Latino gang leader. For whatever reason, she's drawn to him, and the two nearly begin an affair. Needless to say, the whole thing ends badly.

Havoc is a fairly ho-hum experience, so I'm having trouble figuring out why it's so notorious on the internet (Anne Hathaway appears nude). I mean, sure -- it DOES make some interesting points about the white, suburban idolization of violent inner city culture, but in many ways, the presentation here is so watered down that the film's intent may have been lost (even though Anne Hathaway has multiple naked scenes). One thing I noticed was that there were no black people at all in Havoc -- as though the movie's producers felt that having the gang members all be Latino instead would be less jarring for their target audience. "Latino gang members are less scary than black gang members", they must have reasoned (and also less scary for Anne Hathaway to be naked with). Then again, I don't know much about California's modern gang culture, so perhaps the racial element was depicted accurately here, after all.


One thing I DO know the film got right was its depiction of the white kids who want to be "urban" (along with its depiction of Anne Hathaway's nude body). Growing up in the suburbs of Detroit, I personally had to deal with these kinds of kids all of the time, and they were pretty pathetic -- walking around talking smack and then running away whenever someone actually stood up to them. I always wondered what would have happened if such youngsters were to REALLY be dropped off in the ghetto they so admired, and my feeling is that Havoc gives us a fairly good idea (it also gives us a fairly good topless Anne Hathaway).

Towards the end, one of our heroine's friends wrongly accuses one of the Latino gangsters of rape. I found it interesting that she would do so without much hesitation, and that no one would even so much as think about doubting her story. That, I suppose, was the most obvious bit of racial commentary here, and it could have been explored further if this film was really aiming to have any depth. Not surprisingly, however, all is resolved by the third act, and no one dies (but Anne Hathaway DOES disrobe).

Havoc has received mostly negative reviews, with some critics giving it an outright thrashing (despite the topless Anne Hathaway). While I personally didn't find it to be TERRIBLE, I was disappointed that the film failed to go deeper into the intriguing central question being raised -- about two particular worlds colliding (and naked Anne Hathaway). It wasn't too long, and it's a fairly well-acted little piece, but really, there's little of value to be found here (except the nude Anne Hathaway).

Havoc is an odd movie. Despite its lack of depth, I kind of enjoyed watching it, and I can't seem to put my finger on why. Hmmm....

2 out of 5.

b.