The problem, though, is that just about every venture that I could enjoy pursuing would also be likely to fail. For example, I'd be great at owning and operating a used video game store, but those places always go under unless they're of the Gamestop-EB family. Especially ill-fated are the locations that specialize in classic games. There used to be a fantastic used game store in Oxford, Michigan with a massive collection of 8-bit NES carts, called Mindgames and, of course, it didn't last long. See, I collect old NES games, and I'd stop at Mindgames every other week or so to pick up three or four random titles. Great for me, but not very profitable for them, and one day I drove by to see the windows shuttered. Lovely. I also know of an excellent used game store in Paw Paw that even has a respectable collection of Turbo Grafx-16 items, and I pray to the gaming gods that it sticks around long enough for me to spend a good amount of cash there....
Anyway, I'd run a decent video game store because I have a unique idea that none of the others seem to have implemented. You know how book stores will often have computer terminals set up where a customer can look up a given title, and even read reviews for it? Yeah, I'd like to have something along those lines for my game store. A few computers connected to some gaming websites. I mean, I can't count how many times I've been standing there at Gamestop with some title in my hand, totally on the fence about buying it. How helpful it would be if a research tool were available right there in the store! I'd probably buy more stuff if I could look items up to get a sense of what I was considering. That's a GOOD idea, darnit!
Alas, that's also the problem. Good ideas don't seem to work in retail for some reason, so my game store will never happen. All of my restaurant concepts are probably impractical, as well. Hmmm...I guess the only place for me in the business world would be at the high corporate level.
That's it! I'll start a big corporation called..."Company Incorporated." We'll provide goods and services of an unspecified nature -- just like in the 1990s. Remember when a bunch of companies popped up in the 90s, and no one knew what the heck they did? They even ran TV ads that no one understood. Enron is a good example. If you ask a business expert what Enron did, he'll tell you that it was an "energy trader." Really -- that's as clear as they can get. An energy trader? What does THAT mean?
Of course, Company Incorporated won't be a disaster like Enron because we won't even make the mistake of CLAIMING to do anything. We won't have offices, employees, or interests; instead, we'll just have advertisements, a board of directors, and lots of investors. See, Company Incorporated will be a sham that everyone is in on, but won't talk about. If anyone tries to pin us down on just what we DO, they'll be ignored. Maybe even shot. We'll air TV spots featuring random imagery of Americana while an announcer declares that "Company Incorporated cares about providing YOU and your family with goods and services...."
--Shot of wheat fields, and an American flag.
Deep, but reassuring voiceover: "In these trying times, it's nice to know that someone is looking out for you. For over 29 years, Company Incorporated has strived to provide the best service to hardworking Americans every day..."
--Images of working class Chicago folk.
"At Company Incorporated, our philosophy is simple: you provide us with capital, and in exchange we provide you with goods and services..."
--Scenes of a family at Christmas and cute puppies.
"Our mission is to generate profits through our transactions, and in turn, benefit our investors. A growing customer base means expansion for our enterprises..."
--The Rocky Mountains and a bald eagle.
"With Company Incorporated on your side, you'll always know that goods and services are available..."
--The company logo, and another American flag.
"Company Incorporated: conducting transactions and generating profit through the free enterprise system. Every day. For you."
--Fade to black.
My business model is brilliant. As long as investors buy into Company Incorporated, we'll stick their money into various unspecified funds, and continue advertising and lobbying. If everyone keeps investing, the stock price will go up, and...uh...profit will happen, I guess. Why should a company actually do anything to be successful, anyway? Can't it just skip that crap, and make money? All I need is about 25 million dollars to get this baby off the ground.
Anyway, speaking of business start-ups, here's a film that deals with one:
Sunshine Cleaning (2008)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862846/
Netflix description:
"Financially on shaky ground yet determined to send her son to a top private school, Rose Lorkowski (Amy Adams) teams up with her unreliable sister, Norah (Emily Blunt), to start a new company that specializes in biohazard removal and crime scene cleanup. Tired of doing all of the work for other people, whether in her job cleaning homes or in her failed relationships, Rose is finally ready to use her entrepreneurial spirit to tidy up her own life."
I've seen things in the past about the niche industry of crime scene cleanup. It's a morbid, yet lucrative, business. See, there are specialized companies that will show up to places where murders and suicides have occurred, and remove all of the hazardous "fluids." They get big bucks for this work, and rightly so. It's a nasty enterprise.
Well, in Sunshine Cleaning, Amy Adams plays Rose, a down-on-her-luck single mom who stumbles across the idea of turning her home cleaning service into such a business. See, she's in desperate need of money, as her son just been thrown out of his elementary school. The jerks in charge say they won't teach him unless Rose puts him on medication (isn't that just typical of the Nazis who run schools these days? "Let's make things easier on ourselves by labeling problems kids as 'disordered!'" Scoundrels!)
Rose enlists the aid of her wild teenage sister to run the new company, and things go well...for a while. We also get a glimpse into her dysfunctional romantic life, and there's a side story about dealing with grief. Alan Arkin plays Rose's well-meaning, but somewhat dodgy father. His comical scenes are a great relief from the otherwise-somber mood of the overall film, although I noticed that Arkin is pretty much playing the same character as he did in Little Miss Sunshine (not that there's anything WRONG with that, necessarily).
Sunshine Cleaning is, at heart, a simple family drama. Its intriguing premise (the crime scene clean-up company) will draw you in, but the film's enjoyability really depends on what's happening between Rose and everyone in her life. Does it work? Well, barely -- and only because of the actors. The story here is nice enough, but I'll bet that it would have been either boring, or too corny to watch, in the hands of any other cast. Amy Adams (who I think is absolutely enchanting) has enough charisma to make Rose believable without causing a jaded audience to roll its eyes. Hey, we've all known women like this one, and we hope she does well. The fact that she's a homewrecker can be forgiven!
At times, Sunshine Cleaning does go too far with the cheese. There's a backstory here about Rose and her sister's dead mother having once landed a bit part in a made-for-TV movie. See, the two sisters have never actually SEEN Mom's performance in that film because every time the picture is aired on television, her part is cut out. Well, wouldn't you know it? Right when the drama in Sunshine Cleaning reaches its high point, Rose and sis happen to catch Mom's long-lost performance on TV. Tears flow, and we look away embarrassed. It's just too convenient. I also cringed at a scene in which Rose talks to Mom's spirit over a CB radio. I mean, c'mon.
It's also a bit too easy to predict that something will go horribly wrong with Rose's cleaning business at some point. Luckily, by the time that happens, we've been won over enough by Amy Adams to feel glad that everything worked out OK. Sunshine Cleaning could have used a script go-over by someone with a less sentimental heart than its director, but in the end, it's an engaging enough film. You'll like the characters, and it's nice to see a semi-decent movie with a woman in the lead role -- especially if that woman is Amy Adams. It's worthy of a rental.
3 out of 5.
b.
Now, THIS shit is funny!
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