Someone I Can Root For

Hey, have you heard about that college soccer player who's in trouble for getting way too rough during a recent game?
Yeah, her name is Elizabeth Lambert, and she plays for New Mexico University. Lambert's become a worldwide sensation over the past few days thanks to video of her shenanigans during a recent match with Brigham Young University:

She is seen punching other players, pulling their hair, and throwing them to the ground:

SMACK!

Elizabeth was repeatedly featured on CNN and BSNBC pretty much all day on Monday, and I gotta tell you, I am smitten. She is definitely my kind of lady.

There's just something about an athletic woman who also happens to be violent that really gets me going. If all soccer games featured someone like Elizabeth, I'd become a huge fan. Let's learn more about her....

Ah, what a dream! You know, they could really liven up the game of soccer, in general, by encouraging more athletes with Elizabeth's drive and spirit to join in. What if, in every soccer game, there was always one player on the field who could do whatever he or she wanted? You know -- the game would be totally normal, except for the lone loose cannon attacking other players and grabbing at the ball. The sport would be so much more interesting that way!

So, here's to you, Elizabeth. You may have caused an uproar among the stiffs, but I hope that you go on to the major league. That is, if there is one....

b.