For example, if I'm looking to dine out, I will most likely pick my restaurant based off something like the appearance of its sign. Does it have a wacky design? Any pretty stars or polka dots? What color is it? Is there neon??? If so, I'm eating there -- regardless of the establishment's menu. If the place has an amusing or interesting name, the deal is more than sealed, and I'll suddenly have a new favorite haunt. Who cares about the food? As long as the grub is greasy, I'll gladly eat at some dump if it strikes me as interesting on any level.
Like, there's a joint near the hospital where my dad has been getting his cancer treatments called Happy's Pizza. I noticed it the first time I had to drive down there for a visit, and was immediately drawn in. Flashy, chipper signage in front of that tiny square building just reached out to me as I cruised by. "HAPPY'S PIZZA??? That sounds AWESOME!" I said to myself. It was obviously the best pizza place in the Metro Detroit area. Otherwise, why would it be called HAPPY'S? I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to eat there. What a great name!
Sure enough, I dropped by later that night and, to be honest, the pizza was nothing special. In fact, I really didn't enjoy it at all (reminded me of Hungry Howie's). Nevertheless, I have made multiple return trips since then. Why? Because the place is called HAPPY'S PIZZA! I just gotta give them my business.
I'll occasionally run into situations with my fiance over such matters. If we ever travel and need to decide on a motel at which to stay, there's guaranteed to be a dispute. "Who cares what the stupid Triple A guide book says about a place's 'star rating?' Motel A is boring, and Motel B has a PINK NEON SIGN WITH FLAMINGOS on it! The choice is clear!" I'll surely insist. How about grocery shopping? I'll buy almost any item that has blue frosting or sprinkles, no matter how it tastes. Video games? I've purchased such lousy releases as "Chili Con Carnage" and "Ninja Bread Man" solely because of their odd names. They were a total waste of money, but you know what? I regret nothing! I want stimulation; I want to be amused; I want something different!!!
This habit also applies to movies. I have queued countless crappy flicks just because I thought they had funny titles, and got burned on almost all of them. Zombies: Anonymous...Splatter Disco...Alligator People...Dumpster Baby...Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy...Night of the Living Dorks -- I watched them all because their weird names made me chuckle, and each one sucked. I guess the lesson here could be that if a film needs a dumb title, it's probably because there's nothing else about it to attract an audience. Of course, that's never going to stop me from renting every strangely-named piece of crap I notice.
Take this movie, for example....
Satanic Yuppies (1996)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116246/
Netflix description:
While investigating the brutal murders of two beautiful women, reporter Pete McGavin (Paul Morris) stumbles upon a cutting-edge satanic cult fronting as a modeling agency in this B-grade horror movie. A psychic (Debbie Rochon) tells McGavin that the murders are part of a "Bride of Satan" ritual. With the cops under a spell cast by cult members, it's up to the intrepid reporter to put the clues together before another lovely lady winds up dead.
Yeah, I only watched this movie because I was amused by its title. But you know what? It's actually not that bad!
Satanic Yuppies is a tongue-in-cheek comedy about a frustrated reporter who's been assigned to cover some hum-drum local election. Seems pretty dull...UNTIL he learns that one of the candidates is actually a satanist murderer. This fellow is in cahoots with the owner of a local modeling agency who has been kidnapping young women for the purpose of ritualistic killings. Will our hero expose the grisly truth?
Now, Satanic Yuppies has all the makings of a truly craptastic movie. It's got bottom of the barrel production values, and actors who should probably only be in "adult productions" (if even that). I mean, it's a REALLY cheap movie.
So why did I kind of like it? Well, the bottom line is that Satanic Yuppies actually manages to be funny in several places. Our hero, Pete McGavin, is the sort of goofball that I like -- serious at the right moments, but ridiculous the rest of the time. He stumbles his way through this bizarre story with an ironic detachment, arguing with his editor over the newsworthiness of a gruesome murder one moment, and hitting on the mayor's secretary the next. He's the perfect hero for something like this, and he seems to share in our amusement.
(What a yuppie might look like) Satanic Yuppies also features some surprisingly decent writing. Sure, there are plenty of low-brow gags, but other jabs taken at annoying young professionals had me grinning. When we finally meet Satan (yes, he's in the movie), we see that he looks like a record company executive -- snappy business suit and pony tail included. He's even got that creepy businessman demeanor, acting friendly and reassuring to people while secretly harboring plans to swallow their souls. Satan brutally murders one guy, but apologizes while doing it. He's almost like Lumbergh, from Office Space.
Now, this isn't all to say that Satanic Yuppies is by any stretch a GOOD movie. It's plagued by horrible lighting, editing, and sound...and the acting, as already indicated, is barely a small step up from amateur grade (with the exception of leading man Paul Morris, and the great Debbie Rochon, who makes a brief cameo). Not to mention, the film really starts to drag by the 70th minute or so, when its plot mostly unravels. STILL, for something of its class, this picture ain't that bad. Satanic Yuppies is a textbook example of a Joe Bob Briggs-style B-movie -- recommended for viewing only very late at night when all other avenues of entertainment have been exhausted, and several beers have already been consumed. Plus, you can stream it instantly on Netflix, so there's no need to waste a rental. If you like crap, this could be one to check out. The average audience, however, should probably stay away.
Now, this isn't all to say that Satanic Yuppies is by any stretch a GOOD movie. It's plagued by horrible lighting, editing, and sound...and the acting, as already indicated, is barely a small step up from amateur grade (with the exception of leading man Paul Morris, and the great Debbie Rochon, who makes a brief cameo). Not to mention, the film really starts to drag by the 70th minute or so, when its plot mostly unravels. STILL, for something of its class, this picture ain't that bad. Satanic Yuppies is a textbook example of a Joe Bob Briggs-style B-movie -- recommended for viewing only very late at night when all other avenues of entertainment have been exhausted, and several beers have already been consumed. Plus, you can stream it instantly on Netflix, so there's no need to waste a rental. If you like crap, this could be one to check out. The average audience, however, should probably stay away.
3 out of 5.
b.
No comments:
Post a Comment