It's really just a couple of pieces of fried chicken held together with cheese and bacon, but whatever. If they want to call it a sandwich, let them call it a sandwich. This is the wave of the future, man. Ditch the lousy bread that only holds a sandwich back, and get right to the good stuff. That's the Double Down.
I think this is a great idea -- even better than the Famous Bowls, which came out a few years back. Remember those? The fine folks at KFC just threw a bunch of random crap into a bowl and said, "Here. Eat this." And we did. The Famous Bowls were friggin' delicious, and I've no doubt that the same can be said of the new Double Down.
I urge all Americans to sample one. PERSONALLY, I have no idea what the Double Down tastes like because, thanks to the tax collectors at the state of Michigan and other restrictive elements in my life, I am no longer a man but a sad shell of one who can't even eat the fast food item he wants when he wants. No sir, it will be a massive privilege when this soul-sucking world finally decides to let me have a Double Down...but that doesn't mean I can't ask others to get one on my behalf. My pal Dave, over at the food blog, Dave's Cupboard, had positive things to say about the Double Down a few months ago, and that's good enough for me. I ask you to go out and enjoy a Double Down...for old Drew's sake. It's the Fast Food Of The Month!
And as long as I'm talking about fatty things likely to gross people out, here's a movie starring Marlon Brando.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116654/
Netflix description:
A big-budget remake of the H.G. Wells story (previously filmed in 1977), The Island of Dr. Moreau follows a shipwrecked sailor (David Thewlis) who stumbles upon a mysterious island. He's shocked to discover that a brilliant scientist (Marlon Brando) and his lab assistant (Val Kilmer) have found a way to combine human and animal DNA -- with horrific results.
All right. It's confession time. I'll just come out and say this, and I hope you'll accept me even after dropping a bomb that many might consider offensive and impossible to comprehend. Here goes: I never really liked Marlon Brando.
Whew. There -- I said it. I feel so much better now!
OK, so why do I not like Brando??? Well...here's the deal: he just creeps me out. YES, I understand that he was some dramatic genius, yada yada Godfather yada yada yada. FINE! That still doesn't change the fact that Brando made me feel uncomfortable with everything he ever did. Even in his younger days, when they say he was some sort of sex symbol, I STILL didn't like Brando. His legendary character in A Street Car Named Desire just came across to me like some kind of drunken, mentally-challenged longshoreman, and Last Tango in Paris gave me nightmares. Brando may have been brilliant, but I could never really enjoy any of his movies (except, of course, The Freshman, which is hilarious) because the guy was just a little too crazy...even for me.
The Island of Doctor Moreau is an example of what I mean. Here, Brando is displayed in all his creepy glory...and in his OLDER days to boot, so it's all the weirder. He plays a mad scientist who has set up shop on a remote island to conduct genetic experiments. His goal is to develop some sort of half-man, half animal to be the salvation of all the world. As Doctor Moreau explains fairly early on, he wants a society with no hatred, violence, or malice. Well, OK then.
See, a British United Nations workers accidentally winds up on Moreau's island when his plane crashes in the ocean. This guy, named Edward, is taken to the island by Moreau's right hand man, played by Val Kilmer, and quickly learns that things aren't going so well with the brilliant doctor's experiments. Moreau has created a new society of manimals that can only be kept in line through electroshock therapy. He's equipped every creature in the compound with remote-controlled implants that can be used to administer painful jolts whenever it seems like rebellion may be in the cards. Things go downhill when one of his abominations discovers that the implants can be removed, and then a bunch of crazy violence happens. CAN our hero Edward escape the island without being torn to pieces by rampaging half-man, half-lemurs? WILL Doctor Moreau be brought to justice for his crimes against nature?? WHO is that weird midget that he keeps around at all times???
The Island of Dr. Moreau is regarded by most movie experts as a disaster. Apparently, the filming of this picture was plagued by personal tragedy, and it had to switch directors at least once. Neither Brando nor Kilmer really wanted to be there, and there were attempts by various elements to sabotage the entire production. Still, it got made, and was received less than warmly upon release.
I didn't know any of this when I watched Moreau the other night, and I think that's why I didn't find the experience quite as terrible as many others would have you believe it is. Really, I thought The Island of Doctor Moreau was fairly watchable, if admittedly ridiculous. It's a film that moves from point to point with remarkable efficiency, which impressed me. For instance, Edward winds up on the island, and within 15 minutes, the good doctor is telling him everything about his experiments. And 15 minutes AFTER THAT, Moreau's project is already unraveling. I say this is a good thing, as a film like Moreau usually wastes most of its time setting up pointless intrigue and plot twists that fool no one. Congrats to director John Frankenheimer for cutting to the chase. He gets in, and gets out. Very nice.
The problem with The Island of Doctor Moreau is that it's simply impossible to take seriously. I mean, this film was apparently supposed to have some kind of profound ethical message under the surface, but the silliness of its very premise renders any other questions the movie might raise, at most, incidental. Am I supposed to actually spend time pondering the rights and wrongs of Moreau's actions? I mean, c'mon -- it's the creepy old Marlon Brando hanging out with a dwarf and painting himself COMPLETELY WHITE, for goodness sake! That's both funny and frightening. No time to consider other issues!
No -- The Island of Doctor Moreau is not to be taken seriously on any level. It's strictly a dumb popcorn movie...but not in a completely BAD way. To tell you the truth, I kind of liked it. Even Brando's weirdness is acceptable here, because he's actually playing a madman. It works! Oh, and did I mention that Fairuza Balk is in this? Yeah, she plays Moreau's daughter, and she looks pretty darn good.
To the morbidly curious, I say go ahead and check this one out. There's really nothing to fear, as the film itself is overall surprisingly tolerable. Just relax and have a few laughs.
3 out of 5.
b.
Sandwiches like that make me happy I am vegetarian! :D
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as far as the movie goes, Husband and I saw part of it in the theater....we walked out about 30 minutes into it. We rented it later and had the same problem, could not finish it. I just remember it being slooooooowww. So thanks for your review, now I never have to see it! :D
Cheers!
That's interesting....
ReplyDeleteI wonder why it seemed so fast-paced to me.
Man, the experience must have been bad if you walked out of the theater.
I accidentially tried that KFC Double-down sandwich last night. It became two chicken sandwiches once I got home.
ReplyDeleteDo you mean that it a good way, or in a bad way?
ReplyDeleteIn a good way. It was kinda surprising to me that I got a sandwich that wasn't a sandwich but rather two boneless chicken breasts glued together by bacon and cheese. But since I was one of four people who apparently liked the Original Recepie sandwhiches from last year, I liked having two sandwiches when I got home where the bread was.
ReplyDeleteTo me, a sandwich isn't a sandwich without bread. When I asked what the 'double-down sandwich' was at a drive-thru, the guy gave me a nonsense response ("it's like a manwhich, dude... you want it") so I ordered one.
Andrew, what a wise and discerning post (and the stuff about Brando was good too :) ). Seriously, he always creeped me out to: his Jor-el, his Col. Kurtz, even his role in Missouri Breaks ... just a high foreheaded method-acting freak imho.
ReplyDeleteAs to the chicken samwich, I'm hungry now...KFC eh? parts is parts
Steve -- I'm glad to hear it. I'll be saving my pennies for a Double Down in the coming days.
ReplyDeleteRogue -- THANK GOD I'm not alone on the Brando thing.
Surely you jest? That mess KFC is promoting is only slightly more appealing than a dish of warm dog vom.
ReplyDeleteI've seen that Island of Dr Moreau. I prefer the 1977 version. Mostly because I think Michael York is dishy.
See...I wanted to watch the 1977 version first, but as long as we watch that one, too...Because it probably is just as good if not better!
ReplyDeleteOk, we'll check out the original....
ReplyDeleteEw, to everything.
ReplyDeleteI am highly attracted to that Double Down sandwich. Just for a taste...and sadly, I don't remember the Famous Bowls. Exactly what all went in them?
ReplyDeleteI am so confused - I recall hearing all about this insane KFC concoction like last summer or something. Maybe they were just talking about launching it or maybe it was being test marketed. Those bowls were like a heart attack waiting to happen.
ReplyDeleteFourthGradeNothing.com
Heather -- the Famous Bowls were, like, a plastic bowl with mashed potatoes, chicken chunks, corn, cheese, and gravy all piled on top of each other. Boy, were they sloppy!
ReplyDeleteAlly -- the Double Down was test marketed in a few cities some months back, but has now been rolled out nationally.
1. KFC Bowls: Still available. Still awesome. They should sell the damn things at breakfast as a much tastier alternative to a bowl of oatmeal.
ReplyDelete2. Double Downs: The most badass off all fast food sandwiches. I walked a Double Down past a McDonald's Angus Third Pounder, and the Third Pounder whimpered and peed like a submissive puppy. Nutritionally, they're not that bad for you, but they do have a pretty hefty sodium load. No problem, though - just drink an extra beer.
3. Island of Doctor Moreau: You're a better man than I if you can sit through that whole thing. I'm with Her Highness on that one.
PS - Brando creeps me out a little, too.
First of all you should mention that the movie is originated from a book written by H.G. Wells (yeah the genius who wrote The Invisible Man, War of the Worlds, The Time Machine, etc.). Of course like any other adaptation it's not perfect, but I enjoyed it and here's why:
ReplyDeleteThe topic of the movie is MOST relevant, considering how Man is tinkering with Nature and himself (cf. Monsanto), and I think that the book and the movie cover the topic pretty well.
You don't like Brando, fine. But don't say it's stupid if you don't understand the scenario. Moreau paints himself in white mainly because of his sun allergy, but the way he appears as a White God among the manimals (that's the name of the monsters) is an excellent idea that the director had to show how Moreau is crazy.
Of course the movie is not exceptional, of course Val Kilmer sucks in it, of course the dialogs also suck, but that doesn't make it an awful movie.
And Fairuza Balk is not Moreau's biological daughter but one of his most beautiful creatures.