Two Good Horror Movies

First of all, I would like to announce that today, April 30th, I finally tried a KFC Double Down sandwich....
It wasn't quite what I had expected, but it was still good. See, the Double Down was much bigger than I thought it would be. I figured that the KFC scientists must have developed some new method of enabling fried chicken to stick together as one easily-holdable mass, thereby making the sandwich possible; but it turns out that really was not the case. In reality, they just threw two pieces of chicken together with a bunch of slimy cheese and sauce in the middle, and placed it in a wrapper.


Although it was quite tasty, I've got to say that the Double Down cannot be eaten while driving. I factor the convenience of behind-the-wheel consumption into all food purchases, and this one ranks somewhere above spaghetti and below pizza (which means you ought to just put it down). See, whenever I get fast food, I find it difficult to wait until I get home to dig in. You can imagine the threat to public safety that I would pose if I ever picked up a carry out order from The International House of Pancakes or, say, Uncle Porky's Extra Messy Ribs Shack.

(Kidding, kidding.)

Anyway, I still rate the Double Down highly...just like these two movies.

Dead Snow (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1278340/


Netflix description:
A group of Norwegian friends get the scariest history lesson of their lives during a weekend getaway to the snowy town of Øksfjord, where the party is interrupted by throngs of Nazi zombies who once occupied the area. Armed with a machine-gun-equipped snowmobile, the gang fights for survival in director Tommy Wirkola's quirky horror, shot on location in the mountains of Norway. The film had its U.S. premiere at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival.

OK, this is a movie that features NAZI ZOMBIES. Got that? They're Nazis AND zombies AT THE SAME TIME. Need I say more?

Dead Snow is about a group of Norwegian college students who head out into the wilderness for a weekend of debauchery and skiing. Of course, in the world of horror movies, these sorts of plans never work out well, and our heroes soon find themselves dealing with an army of undead Nazis who have apparently been hiding out in the woods for decades. WILL they make it out alive?

Now, I've seen Dead Snow receive poor reviews from other bloggers, and I honestly have no idea why. This picture was a blast! It's pure fun, stupid, zombie action. Little time is wasted on minor considerations like plot, character development, or exposition. Our kids show up to a cabin in the remote mountains; party for a few minutes; and start dying. That's the way it should be. Heck, we're not even really told why the Nazis are there (or, more specifically, how they became zombies), and frankly, never care.

I know I've complained in the past about horror films that sacrifice dramatic depth in order to spend more time on violence, but in this particular case, the strategy works. You know why? It's because Dead Snow is just as much about comedy as it is about horror. I found some good laughs here. Like, there's one scene in which one of the guys cuts off his own arm with a chainsaw after a zombie bites it (you know, to stop the infection from spreading to the rest of his body). Then, just seconds after he finishes that gruesome task, ANOTHER zombie jumps out of the snow and bites him on the crotch. He looks at his pants; looks at the chainsaw; looks back to his pants...and just says, "Forget it."

Oh, and the Nazi action just doesn't stop. These suckers pour out of caves, snow banks, and outhouses relentlessly. Our heroes quickly realize that the most sensible course of action is just to get the heck out of the mountains, and the trip with them is a lot of fun. Plus, it's a Norwegian movie, so...you know...there's that to consider.


Dead Snow is highly recommended to horror fans, zombie fans, and anyone looking for a good time, in general. I thought it was a solid, get-in-and-get-out experience. The only downside is the fact that the film features absolutely no nudity, and it's in subtitles (this actually doesn't bother me, but I know some viewers can find that cumbersome). Check it out.

4 out of 5.

AND...

Wind Chill (2007)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486051/


Netflix description:
From director Gregory Jacobs and executive producers George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh comes this chilling highway horror flick starring Ashton Holmes, Emily Blunt and Martin Donovan. While driving home for Christmas break, two college students find their vehicle broken down on a deserted road where the souls of all who have perished there return to haunt them.

Another decent horror flick with a title that refers to weather conditions, Wind Chill is a surprising little gem. It's about as simple as a motion picture can get, and yet it leaves us with oh so many questions. I dug it a lot.

It's about a college girl who accepts a ride share with some guy from one of her classes to get home for Christmas. Played by Emily Blunt, our heroine is kind of...oh, let's see...a snob. She treats the dude rather rudely for the first half of their road trip, and frankly, I wouldn't have blamed him for hacking her to pieces with a katana if it had turned out that was his plan. Of course, it wasn't, but that doesn't mean he's not a creep.

See, it turns out that the guy (played by Ashton Holmes) has been stalking this chick for quite a long time. He's engineered the whole ride share across New England as a way to get to know her better, and when she catches on, things get a bit tense. They get even worse, though, when the two are run off the road deep in the wilderness and find themselves stranded for the rest of the night with their car in a snow bank.


But that's not all. Nope -- there are also GHOSTS in them woods! As the hours pass, our unfortunate heroes are repeatedly visited by the spirits of cops, priests...and, uh, more cops and priests. They kind of piece together that this is a haunted area, and that the ghost of a homicidal state police trooper is out to get them. WILL they make it out of those woods alive???

It takes a while for this story to unfold, and I'd say 70 percent of it is simply Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes arguing in an automobile. Luckily, their interactions are fairly engaging, and the whole question of, "Is he going to cut her throat?" is hanging in the air. It's when the ghost stuff comes in, however, that the movie really picks up. It had my full attention as I tried to solve the mystery of what was happening to poor Emily and Ashton.

Wind Chill really is a well-written, directed, and acted little picture. It sucks us in with interesting characters, and scares us tactfully in all the right places. It's a slow boil; you've got to give into its story, or you're going to get bored. Kudos to Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes for carrying this drama-heavy, incredibly simple, story. They are, quite literally, the only REAL characters in this entire thing. The only others with any dialogue at all are the ghost trooper (played, incidentally, by one of my favorite actors, Martin Donovan), and a truck driver. Heck, our heroes don't even have NAMES -- they're simply listed as "Girl" and "Boy."

Some viewers may find the Wind Chill experience to be tedious and want to bail before the payoff, and I suppose that's understandable. I, however, loved this little exercise. The only thing that really disappointed me was its ending. See, there was ONE MOMENT at which I said to myself, "Drew, if they end the movie they way I THINK they're going to, then THIS IS TRUE-BLUE, PURE, HORROR..." but, of course, that's not the ending the filmmakers decided to go with. It's a shame, because this picture was SO CLOSE to getting a five star rating from me.

Nevertheless, I was impressed with Wind Chill. Give it a rental.

4 out of 5.

b.