Zombie Post!

OK, enough screwing around....
It's time to talk zombies.


First of all, I want to thank the fine folks over at the horror blog, Dollar Bin Horror, for awarding me my very own free copy of the novel, Zombie, Ohio. I'm only about 40 pages in so far, but finding the book to be thoroughly enjoyable. It's about a guy who wakes up from a car crash to learn that the world has been overrun by the undead. The catch: he's got amnesia. WILL our hero figure out who he really is? CAN he survive this zombie apocalypse?? WHAT if HE, in fact, is a zombie himself???

The writing style here is hilarious, and the plot is engaging. I look forward to delving deeper into this interesting world of zombie mayhem. The best part of it all? -- The experience is totally free!


But the MAIN zombie-related thing I wanted to talk about today is a recently-released video game trailer that has taken the electronic entertainment world by storm. This little clip -- promoting a game called Dead Island -- seems to stir emotions in just about all viewers. Heck, one doesn't even have to be a gamer to enjoy this bad boy. It's a work of art:

(Just click the picture and scroll down a little.)

Wow. The drama...the horror...the narrative! I don't even know what the game is all about (in fact, no one really does at this point); I just like the friggin' TRAILER. It stirs something deep down in the cockles of my black little heart.

Now, some folks have complained that the Dead Island trailer is exploitative because it depicts the demise of a young girl, but I say that such individuals are missing the point. What we have here is the next level of zombie entertainment. This little clip realizes the dramatic potential of the genre, as I have always seen it. It's got chaos, violence, love, hate, happiness, sadness, tragedy, loss....This thing GRABS people, which is the main responsibility of all good art. In short, I think it's totally brilliant.

In fact, I think it's kind of a shame that the Dead Island trailer is just for a lousy video game. It SHOULD be a friggin' MOVIE. I mean, something with this potential belongs on the big screen -- it impresses me that much.

That does it. I'm turning Dead Island into a feature film myself...before the video game version even has a chance to see the light of day. Granted, I'll have to introduce some new characters and flesh out the plot greatly. STILL, I think we've got a winner on our hands.

And I've got JUST the man to star in it:


Anyway, speaking of zombies, here's a film from England. It's...not bad.

Doghouse (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1023500/



Netflix description:
Six guys hell-bent on having a raucous weekend away from wives and lovers arrive in the town of Moodley. But something's odd about this quaint hamlet. Where are the men? And why do all the women look like they're thirsting for blood? The poor blokes soon discover that half the population has been wiped out by the same virus-infected, man-hating cannibals terrorizing them. Stephen Graham, Danny Dyer, Noel Clarke and Lee Ingleby star.

Doghouse is about a bunch of English blokes who take a little weekend trip to the country. Why? They want to get away from their womenfolk, of course!

See, each one of these dudes has a naggy lady at home, and the first half hour or so of the film is devoted to establishing what they've all got to deal with. Let's see -- there's Graham, Micky, Patrick, Steve, Larry, Shemp, Shekky...and, uh...Randolph. All of the fellas have a unique lady problem, but the one suffering the most is Neil. He's in the midst of a divorce, so the other lads are anxious to get him out to some rural town where the beer is plentiful and the women have low standards in order to raise his spirits.

These early scenes setting up our characters and their troubles are actually the best part of Doghouse. I mean, sure -- the guys are sort of obnoxious and misogynistic, but at least they come across as funny and real. Besides, we already know that they're going to soon be facing a zombie situation, so a little filler to establish who they are beforehand is tolerable. We've all done this kind of movie before. Why rush things?


Anyway, after much deliberation, the gang hits the road to the English countryside for a few days reckless debauchery. A hot little sexpot named Candy is hired to drive them out there, and all seems well....until they arrive at their destination, the town of Moodley.

See, the fellas get off their bus to realize the entire town is essentially abandoned. No one's at the pub; no one's at the drug store; no one's to be seen walking the streets. It's Deadsville, bro. What's going on?

Well...you guessed it!


Indeed. The sleepy Hamlet of Moodley has apparently been overrun by the undead. And, of course, there's a twist: they're almost exclusively FEMALE zombies.

After surviving their first attack, our heroes hightail it back to their bus to find that even Candy, their sweet little driver, has somehow become zombified. It doesn't take long for us all to figure out that Moodley is a twisted town of cannibalistic, undead man haters. Some poison in the atmosphere or something renders all women totally bent on horrifically devouring all men who cross their path. Quite the interesting spin on what our chaps had been hoping for, eh?


At this point, Doghouse sort of descends into an Evil Dead-style, slapstick, zombie-bashing gorefest. Normally, that wouldn't really be a bad thing, but in this case, I actually found it somewhat disappointing. See, I LIKED these characters and this premise prior to the unleashing of the undead. When the zombie action commences, the overall affair curiously slows down.

Sure, some of the action scenes in Doghouse are creative and skillfully shot (I especially liked Neil's run-in with a morbidly obese zombie on the hunt for some "companionship") , but really, we've all seen this stuff before. In fact, most of the second act in Doghouse just felt to me like we were going through the motions. This picture would have been better served if it could have somehow stuck with its initial premise of camaraderie.

And, as a matter of fact, that theme is precisely what carries Doghouse through its more humdrum moments -- the fact that the blokes are such good friends actually separates the film from others like it. For instance, there's a point towards the very end when it looks like most of the guys are going to make it out of the town. At the last second, though, juuuussst as they are driving down the highway away from that hellhole and all they've suffered through, they get a message from one of their buddies and realize he's still alive and left behind. So, what do the rest of the fellas decide to do??? That's right -- they go back for him. I appreciated that. Good friends, good times.


It's the the characters in Doghouse that elevate this zombie flick to Good status. Without such an interesting cast of chaps, I would have found this picture to be average at best. Luckily, what we have here is an example of talented actors and a skillful director making the best out of what-could-have-been an overall uninspiring affair.

Well done, gentlemen! You managed to make an OK zombie movie a slightly better than OK zombie flick.

Fans of the genre might as well give Doghouse a rental. In fact, I give this one a general recommendation. Just don't expect Dawn of the Dead, and you should have a decent time.

3 out of 5.

b.